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Before climate control technology, Betazed suffered severe winters. Sometimes, blizzards kept people house bound for days at a time and before replicators were invented, that meant either stocking up early on food supplies or scrimping for each meal. As I walk through the garden path with Grandma , I reflect on how being house bound parallels the first thirteen years of my life stuck on a starship. I'm grateful for the opportunity to experience the natural beauty of this world. While I miss my parents and little brother, I'm glad to leave the Enterprise behind. Its static environment is now replaced by the warm breeze and bright rays of the Betazoid sun. This world is part of the universe I was born into and for the first time in several months, I'm considering abandoning the Continuum for the luxuries Grandma has to offer.

We arrived on Betazed less than an hour ago and were greeted at the docking bay by Grandma's man servant, Mr. Homn. The tall, ominously quiet man accepted all our luggage and loaded it onto a small shuttlecraft, then proceeded to pilot us here. "Thank you, Mr. Homn," Grandma had said and promptly shooed him off to her house with our luggage in tow. Although I haven't stepped foot inside the house yet, I know I will spend most of the daylight hours outside, enjoying the sun, the wind, and the fragrance of the flowers.

"Shannara, what would you think if I gave you a section of the garden to tend to?" Grandma asks as she stops to pick an orchid and tuck it behind my ear.

"I'd love it!" I exclaim, brushing the petals with my fingertips. " I want to spend as much time outside as possible."

"Good. All you need do in return is spend three evenings a week at the All Souls Academy."

"A religious school!"

"A spiritual one, yes. The instructors there will help you fine tune your telepathic abilities. There will be no arguing. I've already submitted your application and it's been approved."

"You mean grow accustom to using them," I snap. I sound like a spoiled child even to myself. Here Grandma has so generously offered me the life I've always wanted and I outwardly deny my Betaziod heritage. Haven't I often wished I were full Betaziod?

"You don't have to perform a task as menial as tending to the garden, getting your hands and your clothing soiled. I have a number of servants who would be pleased at the undertaking." When will I accept that Grandma is as stubborn as I am?

While she is away on one of her long sojourns, Grandma has many servants who tend to the upkeep of her house and grounds. She is a wealthy woman, having been born to the fifth house, but she has made a name for herself on her own right. For many years, she has held an ambassadorial position with the Betazoid government. I could learn a lot about politics from her and feel guilty that I am eager for the knowledge only because I am considering Q's proposition.

Grandma leads me northward and we enter a patch of uttaberry bushes. They remind me of Mother. When she is not indulging in a chocolate desert, she'll share a bowl of uttaberries and a story from her childhood with me. At least, she used to.

What have I done to myself? I'm completely alienated from my parents. In this world, I'm a nobody, who has passed on opportunities to make something of her life. Why did I refuse the Akodians offer of great status? I would have become at least as prestigious as Grandma with a high political status my parents would be proud to acknowledge. Instead, I've held steadfast to the ideals of the Q and protected my Continuum membership at risk to everything else in my life. While I don't doubt my parents still love me, I don't believe they like me very much anymore. They were, after all, prepared to cast me off to the Continuum before Grandma rescued me.

To my surprise, Grandma removes her hat and begins filling it with berries. "Replicated uttaberries pale in comparison to the real thing. That's why I have this garden. Come on, Shannara, help me fill our basket."

I laugh at the absurdity of calling a hat a basket, but also I laugh because I feel great pleasure in helping her perform an archaic and unnecessary task. Despite my shortcomings, Grandma has offered me her haven and hospitality. She talks of gardens and sending me to school, but she really wants to ask about the Continuum. She is more rhapsodical than either of my parents and will shower me with the spontaneity that has been lacking in my life and yet she wonders whether she can provide enough entertainment to make me happy. Can she tempt me away from the allure of the Continuum....forever?

She promised my parents that she would keep me out of trouble. How does she plan to accomplish this? Trouble always finds me.

"Grandma," I say, "I'll try your plan for a while. It would please Mother to know that I will be interacting with others my age." I've always wanted the chance to interact with full Betaziods and learn to be more like them, so why does my promise sound so hollow? "Do you think Mother will learn to like me again?"

"Oh dear child," Grandma says, stopping to place a hand on my shoulder. "Your Mother will always love you."

"I know, but will she ever like me again?"

Grandma reflects on this and for a brief moment, I see Mother in her eyes. I imagine us back on the day she first sent me to regular school and her stubborn persistence that I would attend school and enjoy it. I did not, then, and I doubt I will have any better luck with All Souls.

"If you could take back anything you've said or done over the past two years, would you?" Grandma asks. "Given the chance to live those years over, would you make your decisions differently? Perhaps your answer shouldn't come in haste. From my information, the Q act impetuously without considering how they will effect others."

"I once believed that my parents were the world," I say, "that going anywhere with Q was preposterous. But Data was right when he guessed that my IQ was growing exponentially. I cannot go back to a simple existence for anyone."

*You selfish, little brat!* she thinks at me and for a glaring moment, I sense that Grandma does not like me either. Pushing her away from me, I send all the uttaberries flying and run away from her toward the house. I think about snatching up my luggage and going elsewhere. Why should I live with people who don't like me? Or attend a spiritual school far less enlightened than I? I could vanish in a Q-flash and they would never know what has become of me.

I reach Grandma's house and race onto the porch and through the front door as though I own the place. I stop suddenly in front of the winding staircase and look around awestruck. "Wow! It's beautiful," I exclaim. The foyer rises to the second floor and along the peak are an elegant set of sky windows. The walls are adorned with plaques and other souvenirs Grandma has collected from many of the worlds she has visited over the years. I'm so intent on studying the inscriptions that I don't realize Grandma has entered until she places her hands on my shoulders and turns me around.

"I've welcomed you into my home, child," she says. "I'm offering you a chance to redeem yourself. I love you unconditionally. Don't push me away."

I lower my head into her dressed, not caring that it is stained from uttaberries. I cry freely for everything I've lost and hope that in starting over, I will be able to get it right this time. "Why am I always getting into trouble?" I ask Grandma between gasps.

As she leads me up the stairs, she informs me, "I had the same problem when I was your age." Somehow, that's not hard to believe and I find comfort in our kinship. We reach the top landing and I count five doors. "The one on the far end is mine and the one next to it belongs to Mr. Homn. You may have your pick among the other three."

I walk from one room to the next and when I look out the window of the third, I know it's the perfect room for me. Below, I can see the garden. The uttaberries glisten in the sunlight. Grandma walks up beside me and pulls the curtains back.

I look away from the garden and fix Grandma squarely in the eyes. "I'll try to change," I promise. "You'll see how much I appreciate your hospitality and once I'm settled in, I'll pick you a whole basket of uttaberries. After dinner, we'll eat them for desert while you share a story about your childhood with me."

"That is a lovely plan, but I want to hear a story or two from you as well. I've missed too much of your life and feel we have a lot of catching up to do."

"All right," I agree, smiling. Inwardly, I doubt Grandma wishes to listen to my adventures inside alternate universes. She denies how deeply devoted to the Continuum I am. Mother and father, even Captain Riker, made the same mistake. They believed they could coerce me away from the power of the Q. Such an order is no easier carried out than telling a Borg drone he must comply with Starfleet regulations and behave as an individual.

Then again, why should I turn my back on Grandma for my self-proclaimed guardian angel? Q hasn't graced me with his presence, since he proposed my political career months ago. I need time to think, I told him. Impetuously, I'd expected him to pop in again a few days afterward, demanding my decision. Not that I have made one yet, but persuasion is in his nature. Why is he allowing me such freedom now?

"Allow me time to think," I echo my words to Grandma. "I'll be ready to share a bit with you by tonight."

"All right, dear," she replies. "I'll have Mr. Homn bring your things up to your new room." Satisfied with our agreement, she leaves me to arrange my room and my thoughts to my liking.

*****

I replicate a bucket with a handle and set off to the garden in search of the ripest uttaberries. Although sweet berries appear plentiful and I am picking them in haste, the bucket does not fill quickly. Is there some secret to this task? I cannot be working on this past dinner time!

Compulsively, I raise my right hand and with the power of the Q, fill the bucket. I laugh, delighted by the simple solution and skip down the path. Grandma won't have to know. It's not as though there's anyone like Gaunt to tell on me. No Captain Riker to order me to cease and desist all use of my gift from Q. No parents looking at me with disappointment in their eyes. I'm free like a bird sprung from its cage.

"Bravo, bravo," I hear someone say and look up to see a man sitting on the limb of a tree. "I know you! I thought I sent you to oblivion along with that witch."

"Moi? Come, come now. You can't stop the mighty Q."

"Only slow you down. Don't deny it. If I hadn't pitted you against each other, you would have returned to hassle me much sooner than this."

His smile sends shivers down my spine despite the warmth of the setting sun on my back. "I've come to do more than hassle you, little Q." Panicking, I run toward Grandma's house as though it can offer me protection. " Run, run with all your might! You won't get away from me. I can pop in anywhere at any time I feel like it. Watch your back, but it will do you no good. "

As I reach the front porch, I realize the menacing Q's voice has faded and turn to scan the grounds in search of him. He's taunting me. Like a typical Q, he will make a game out of destroying me. I will have to turn this cat and mouse tactic around to my advantage.

Glancing down at my bucket, I'm relieved that it is still full. Q has not jinxed my plans with Grandma, at least. She wants me to tell her a story, but should I share the experience of Q animosity with her? By revealing this threat on my life, I may expose her to the same danger. I can't be as open and as honest as she would like me to be.

*****

Grandma leads me inside her grand room and instructs me to get cozy before the fireplace. Although the temperature of the house is maintained at a comfortable seventy-two degrees, she believes a small fire helps set the mood for a quiet conversation. She sets the uttaberries, now washed and in a large bowl, between us. I try to force myself into the mood to share as I listen to Grandma's tale of a small girl sailing with her father. I wish I had such memories. Although I have no doubts my father loves me, his idea of fun with his middle child is a bat'leth lesson inside the holodeck.

The uttaberries are sweeter than I expected. Grandma was right about replicators not doing them justice.

"Our boat tipped over and when Daddy could not right the sail, he carried me all the way to shore and out of breath, dropped me onto the sandy beach. With the taste of sea water in my mouth and the gritty sand sticking to my bathing suit, I walked across the hot beach to our hover car and brought back fresh water, sandwiches and a blanket for us to rest on. Father never told me how close we came to drowning that day, instead he put on a smile and shared a story with me as I am with you now. I knew, though, and I was proud of him for being so strong."

"You had a close relationship with your father?"

"Oh yes. I thought Daddy could do no wrong."

"How old were you when you realized that wasn't true?"

"Young lady, if their relationship is filled with total trust and devotion, a daughter will go on believing her daddy is perfect no matter how old or wise she becomes."

I'm disconcerted by this and can't help feeling guilty about everything that has passed between Father and I, since I joined the Continuum. He and I come from a stubborn, fierce breed. Perhaps, we are too much alike to get along. If he weren't so loyal to Starfleet, maybe I would have resisted the allure of the Continuum indefinitely. Why couldn't Father understand my desire to live planet bound?

"Shannara?" Grandma interrupts my daydreaming. "You're thinking about your father. Would you like to contact your parents through subspace to let them know you're doing all right?"

"No," I reply. Grandma is disappointed by this. "Why do you care whether I get along with my father? You've never liked him."

"Your father and I have had our moments, admittedly. That doesn't mean I hate him or hope to destroy your relationship with him. On the contrary, I brought you here before you made the biggest mistake of your life and vanished from this existence forever. You need distance from each other before you can reconcile, but galavanting off in some alternative universe Q for companions will only further alienate you from your parents and anyone else who sincerely cares for the little girl you once were."

"I'm sorry you miss that little girl so much," I say. Although I know my words sting, they are necessary. "I'm a Q now. I'm on probation and that means the Continuum could revoke my membership if at any time I step too far out of bounds. I could resign voluntarily, however I quite probably would be branded as a failure."

"Not by your family. We would be proud that you stood against the arrogant Q."

Grandma doesn't understand the complexities of the Continuum. There is no single alliance between the omniscient beings, only countless factions and yet the power of the Continuum is so strong a thread could bind it together. We are indestructible! Now I know what story to share with Grandma and I am no longer afraid to tell her of my garden visitor.

"Grandma, I'd like to begin my story if you'd let me." I push the bowl of uttaberries toward her and she nods encouragingly. " Did Mother tell you that Eric spent a day inside the Continuum?" Grandma's eyes widen and I know Mother has been keeping this a secret from her. " It's the reason I decided to join the Continuum. Q wouldn't even deal with me until I offered myself in trade for my brother. When I arrived they made me endure these ridiculously easy tests. I past them all, and they placed me on a thousand-years probation, then sent me home to my parents like a spoiled child. You're thinking I could have turned my back on the Continuum right then and there. After a taste of their silly games, I should have been content with the stability of life on the Enterprise."

"Why weren't you?"

"That's what you don't understand about the Continuum and that's why I'm telling you this now." I pause for effect and to collect my thoughts. " They wouldn't leave me alone. First one Q would pop up uninvited and then another. There visits became so frequent that I expected to run into a Q every time I turned down a corridor. They were spying on me, making sure I wasn't breaking any of their rules."

"Good! Break one of their rules." Grandma smiles at her elementary solution. Her enthusiasm is almost contagious. Why not break their rules? I've always been so adept at getting into trouble.

"There is too much risk in taking such a bold action. The Q have something they refer to as a penalty box. A disobedient Q left inside a penalty box is in danger of being cast off to oblivion."

"Then you're in this mess against your will. Why didn't you tell your parents this?"

"My plight is not that simple. The Continuum is not made of one political body keeping its citizens in line. There are numerous factions pitting one Q against another. They have no coherent system, each Q believes he or she knows everything, is all powerful and will live forever. Only a few of us have realized the falseness in the most upheld belief among the Q."

"And what faction does Q, err, your Q belong to?"

"I don't know for certain. He hasn't introduced me to any of his friends. He wants the Continuum to take on a more holistic attitude and unite under one government body." I debate whether to tell her about Q's proposal and decide if she is to understand, she must be told everything. I've never been able to speak this openly with my parents. " He wants me to help him accomplish this agenda."

" Is that why he sought you out so you could play a pawn in his game to take over the Continuum?"

" I believe so." My answer surprises me. I'd never thought of his proposal in that manner, but am certain of it. "However, as anything with a Q, it's more complicated than that. He's sincere in his desire to help me make something of my life. Unfortunately, others don't share his passion and are openly placing obstacles in my path in hopes of forcing me to violate my probation."

"Are you saying your life is in danger?!"

"Just this evening when I was picking these uttaberries, one of the most menacing of them all paid me a visit. I've dealt with him before and I thought I'd cast him off inside a penalty box along with a female Q who also had a nasty attitude toward me."

"Maybe someone let him out. He must have allies. How can you protect yourself against all of them?"

"My only chance is in mastering the power of the Q and winning against them at their own game. You promised my parents you would keep me out of trouble, and I know they wish for me to abandon the gift Q has given me. But I can't. I have already used it since I arrived here today. I did not pick most of these uttaberries," I confess, tapping the nearly-empty bowl and refilling it. Grandma gasps in surprise. "Please, tell me I have your consent to use this power to protect myself. I will continue to use it whether you sanction it or not."

Grandma is staring at the berries and runs her fingers along the edge of the bowl as though it is an allusion. "You have my consent, dear. I don't want to ever lose you."

"You won't. You must also promise never to share any of this conversation with my parents. I don't want them to worry. There is nothing to worry about."

She nods, though I sense lingering doubts in her.