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When I return from a six-hour lunar tour assigned by Data, I sit down at my desk to write a report from my notes. Although the moon had first been colonized in 2071, only a decade after first contact with the Vulcans, many parts of it remain uninhabited and preserved by a protection act today. Most of my notes are about such sites.

Flipping on my screen, I'm surprised to see a message flashing for me. It is the first one I've received since coming to live with Data. What if it's about Grandma? I had been told that she would recover fully before I left Betazed, but what if Q flashed into her hospital room to finish the job? With trepidation, I instruct the computer to display the message.

"Message is audio only," the computer drones.

"Shannara," Data's voice comes across the computer and I sigh with relief. "Please come see me when you return from your tour. I have something important I need to discuss with you."

"Computer, where is Data now?"

"Professor Data is located on the second floor in the east wing suite."

"The cat room," I mutter and exit my room to join Data.

"Ah Shannara," he says, pleasantly when I enter the room. He removes his pip and snuffs it out before setting it on the end table. "How was your trip?"

"It went well," I respond as I come around to join him on the sofa. Sensing that he's not about to deliver bad news, I relax. Maybe he wants an oral report from me. "It's amazing how much history one lunar body can have."

He chuckles lightly. "Everything has a history. It is because of your history that I have summoned you here. Do you realize how long it has been since you spoke with either of your parents?"

This conversation couldn't wait until I finished my report and maybe had a sonic shower? I thought Data had something urgent he wanted to tell me, not to bring up this argument yet again. "Why are you constantly pointing out my problems with them?" I say aloud, raising my voice. "I thought you were beginning to accept my decision not to contact them for the time being."

"Yes and I suppose I would have abided by your wishes for a long while if it were not for the Enterprise's imminent arrival. They will be reaching Earth in approximately five days."

I am momentarily caught speechless. I knew that the Enterprise returned to Earth once every year or so and yet, I had not considered the idea of encountering it during my stay here. "You want me to visit with my parents and smooth things over with them," I say. He nods. "It won't work. Oh, they'll show up with the pretense of wanting to make amends, but one little letter stands in the way of our ever reconciling." One simple letter with quite probably the most complex history, I muse.

"You are the most stubborn person I have ever met. Q only stands in your way, because you let him. If you wanted to resume a relationship with your parents, I do not believe Q would prevent it. That would certainly be no way for him to win your trust."

"I don't have to let anyone control my life!" I snap and instantly regret it. Once said, however, I don't know how to take the sting back. "Several Q have tried. They want me to join their factions because of my empathic abilities, not because they feel affection for me. My parents once did, but they let me go. They didn't even try to fight for me."

"Perhaps, you did not give them reason enough to believe fighting would offer them any hope." He stands as if to leave, then informs me, "I will be going to San Francisco to meet them, with or without you. Maybe you should use these five days to ponder why you feel the need to punish yourself."

I fold my arms defiantly, determined not to cry or to allow anything Data has said to seep in. I may be punishing myself, but going to see my parents would not resolve anything. Matters could only be made worse.

One of the older kittens jumps on me and playfully rubs against my arm. I swat him away, hurdling him several meters into one of the scratching posts. Another kitten from within the post screeches as it tumbles sideways.

"You shouldn't take your anger out on lower life forms," someone says in a soothing tone. I turn to see a man sitting beside me. He crosses his legs and holds his hands together at the fingertips in a very prim manner. Now I meet the prissy Q, I think. "The cat does not deserve such treatment simply because he is not aware of anything beyond his own needs."

"I didn't hurt hum," I say disdainfully.

"You likely could have. Do you feel no shame?"

I roll my eyes. "I don't wish to become a member of Faction 125, so spare me your morals."

"Please, do not confuse me with them. Although they are our familiars, there are certain beliefs we do not share with Faction 125. I am from Faction 49 and we place it upon ourselves to preserve life, to allow all creatures the right to exist in a safe environment."

"Familiars? If you get along with them so well...."

"Differing philosophies. We respect one another, but no longer take up residence in the same house."

"Ah," I say with realization and laugh. "They split from your faction." I can't help finding his comparison of the factions to a house funny. It sounds so Klingonese. Most Q I've met view the Klingons as animal-like and only show me any respect because they covet my empathy. This Q seems genuinely different and yet I sense his motives for me are quite the same. "You're here hoping to make me a little more than your familiar." Am I actually warming to the notion?

"That would be a pleasant bonus. However, my purpose here is to rescue the cat."

My admiration quickly turns to disgust. This is about the most absurd thing I've ever heard. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Quite frankly, no. When you've existed as long as I have, there really is nothing new to try out."

"So what's the point of prolonging a cat's boring life if you, a much higher life form, can no longer get any thrills out of your existence?"

He purses his lips and grows deeply contemplative, a behavior I find peculiar for a Q. "Q told me you were like no other who'd ever been offered membership into the Continuum. He's quite persistent about it. From what I can see, you're nothing but a bunch of hot air."

"Get out of here!" I yell. "How dare you come into my home, preaching your morals and insulting me."

"Oh, this is your house?" he says credulously. "I was under the impression that it belonged to your android friend. Is there truly anyplace you consider home?"

"No," I admit, "but why do you care? If I'm hot air, then you shouldn't bother with me."

"Every life is important to me and to the other members of my faction. We so hate to see a life wasted."

"I'm wasting my life." Eyeing the object of my recent torture and our heated debate, I see the cat now curled into a ball, fast asleep. "How do you propose I go about finding a purpose to my life? Should I reconcile with my parents and try to live a normal life?"

"Actually, no." I'm stunned by his quick answer. I didn't expect one so concerned with preserving life to argue against it. "Consider this, maybe your motives for leaving them weren't as simple and self-centered as you're telling yourself. By leaving them behind, have you not protected them and your little brother from great harm? Your grandmother nearly died during your stay with her. So now you've come to live with your android friend. The wisest choice you could have made in this verse. Contemplate that." He scoops up a black and white kitten and scratches at its ears. "And try to be kinder to those less fortunate than yourself." Handing the kitten over to me, he Q- flashes out.

My brother. I hadn't thought of Eric much since my departure from the Enterprise. For as much as he annoyed me when we were together, it pains me now to think of his absence from my life. I'd blocked his image from my mind to avoid the hurt and the guilt.

"I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry," I repeat several times.

If only there were a way to contact Eric without going through our parents, I would cherish a reunion with my little brother. Would he be receptive to a brief meeting? I hope so. If he has become as disillusioned with me as our parents, I will feel as though I have no family left in this verse.

"Hope for Eric," I mumble as I gently set the cat on the other cushion...don't want a return visit from Mr. Morals...and get up from the sofa. As I exit the room, I contemplate how to go about my mission.

First, I must find Data and apologize to him. One batch of trouble needs resolved before I open another one.

I locate him in the downstairs family room, fire going for aesthetics. He's sitting in his Queen Anne chair, grading assignments. I watch from the doorway as he whips through each student's answers. I've seen him performing tasks at super speeds before, of course, but I'm wondering what else is running through that positronic brain of his as he counts up each student's score. Is he still angry with me?

With a deep sigh, I step into the room and call out to him. "Data, please forgive me. I want to find the courage, really."

"I am relieved to hear that," he responds, though his face appears drawn. What is he not telling me?

"Is there something more you wanted to tell me earlier?"

He doesn't immediately respond and I sense his emotions mirroring my own. Whatever he needs to tell me, he wishes it were not true. "I spoke with your parents this morning and your mother is still having difficulties accepting your involvement with Q; moreover, your direct responsibility for your grandmother's serous injuries."

"And my father, have I irrevocably dishonored the family?"

"Your father is unwilling to discuss the situation. Your mother promised to work on him, but I doubt she will pressure him much. What specifically happened after my departure from the Enterprise to cause this great chasm between you?"

"The same as before you left. We just grew more and more distant."

As I'm speaking, Data is shaking his head in disbelief. "There has to be more to it than that. Neither of you have admitted the underlying cause of the break up."

"Come on! My mother is a counselor. If there was any more to it, she'd realize it from the beginning."

"Not necessarily. She is too close to the problem and not able to view it objectively as she does with her patients."

"So are you to become my counselor now as well?" More words to regret. I wouldn't blame Data if he stopped forgiving me as everyone else has. Slumping onto the beige sofa, I bow my head in shame. "You didn't deserve that. If you want me to leave, I'll understand."

"No, I do not want you to leave. What would running away again solve?"

I've never thought of myself as a runaway, but Data is right. I ran off with Grandma to avoid conflicts with my parents and then I showed up unannounced at Data's doorstep to runaway from my responsibilities toward Grandma.

"I should tell you that I was visited by another Q just a few minutes ago. He said he was from a faction with the duty of ensuring the safety of lower life forms." Knowing that I do not dare tell Data of my treatment of his kitten, I opt to share with him this Q's take on my reason for leaving the Enterprise. "He believes I was justified in leaving my parents and Eric behind for their protection. Maybe he has a valid point, since my Grandma almost died because of me."

After musing over this for a moment, Data responds, "I can accept your choosing not to return to the Enterprise, but to have no contact with your family is frankly unexcusable. Would it really place them in danger if you sent them a subspace message?"

"I suppose not."

"Then further ask yourself whether the reason you have not contacted them is because you are afraid of how it might effect your relationship with Q?"

"I'll call them right now." *You'll see that it's not my attitude toward Q that's causing the problem,* I think as I stand and head back upstairs.

*****

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I stare at the console contemplating how my parents will react the moment I contact them. If I still decide to contact them...Several scenarios run through my mind.

The first, and scariest, is of Mother telling me I am no longer their daughter and immediately severing the link.

Then, I think of times long ago when birthday cakes had large purple roses, evenings were filled with the warmth of cocoa and a Mother's love was something I could always count on. How could she possibly turn her only daughter away?

And what about Father? I remember a story of a beast and a father who allayed my fears. Once I was his little warrior and could always count on him to offer me guidance. Have I dishonored the family so much that I should be exiled forever? I can't have one foot inside the Continuum and the other at my parents' doorstep.

Three times, I stand and approach the console positive I'm ready to place the call, and three times, I stall and sit back down on the bed. After the third time I fail to find my courage, Data asks to be invited into my room. I mumble a "come in."

"Have you made the call yet?" he asks.

"No. I can battle the evils of the Continuum, but when it comes to contacting my parents, I'm a coward. Why is that?"

"I wish I understood all the mysteries of the universe. I am an android with six trillion terabytes of information stored in my positronic brain and I too have much to learn. I do not yet understand why it is that a person can be brave in one situation and flounder in another, but I have come to realize that such reactions are normal."

I raise my eyebrows and say, "I still have to make the call, don't I?"

He nods. "If you do not, you will never overcome this weakness."

With a sigh, I walk over to my desk and sit down to make the call. As I wait an almost unendurably long time for my page to be answered, I drum my fingers on my desk. Data grasps my hand, forcing me to stop. Glancing at one another, we share a look of consternation.

Then someone answers on the other end.

"Shannara, hello!" my brother says excitedly. "I miss you. Are you coming to visit us on Earth?"

Tears form in the corners of my eyes as I realize Eric has sincerely missed me. I want now more than ever to have him back in my life. "Are you alone?" After he nods, I ask, "where are mother and father?"

"Father has bridge duty," he replies. "He's been working extra shifts. Ever since Mother got back from Betazed, she's been spending a lot of time with this Ensign Rosario. She's even had her over for dinner a couple of times." He shrugs. "She's nice, but...."

Although I want to hear more about this Ensign Rosario and what mother is doing with her, I realize that Eric doesn't want to talk about her. "It's all right, Eric. You don't have to tell me about mother's friend. "How's Grandma doing?"

"She's all right. Mother says Grandma's already resumed her ambass,"....he flounders..."bassdorial responsibilities and has a meeting on Crombia next week."

"I'm relieved to hear that. Have you been told that I'm staying with Data at Cambridge?"

Data moves to stand next to me. "Hello Eric," he says.

"Hello Comm...Professor Data," Eric replies. "Mother told me you were at Data's." He lowers his voice, though no one else is in the room with him. "She doesn't say much, though. She wants you back. I know she does!"

I wish my brother shared my premature empathy.

"Even as I am now? If I were to return to the family, would she expect me to revert into her little innocent girl?"

Eric furrows his brow in consternation and I suddenly realize he's just a young boy caught in the middle of a feud he doesn't fully comprehend. I hated life aboard a starship, but I wish I could be Eric's big sister again.

"Change is the one constant in life," Data says to me. Then to Eric, "Whenever Shannara does return to the family, life for all of you can never be the same again." He doesn't doubt that I *will* one day return home!

"No matter how much mother," I say to Eric, "or father for that matter, wants me back in their lives, they're unwilling to forgive me. Do you understand?"

"I didn't see anything wrong with the Continuum," he says. "Why do they think it's such a bad place?"

I am relieved that his brief experience inside the Continuum has not scarred him. There are so many bad Q who could have irrevocably damaged his innocence. However, he cannot be completely shielded if he is to understand why I can't return to the Enterprise. "Parts of the Continuum are benevolent," I explain carefully. Fortunately, the Q who brought me into the Continuum....and you briefly...is for the most part harmless. However, he has many enemies who wish to undermine his plans. It's because of them that I left. I don't want to place my family in danger."

"Can't you just tell Q to leave you alone? Wouldn't you rather be a Klingon?"

"I wish it were that simple, but I'm afraid when Q makes up his mind, he doesn't change it. For years, he ridiculed Captain Picard until the day I was born." I decide against telling my brother of Q's claim that he created me. This information may be too much for Eric to handle.

"I'm afraid I must concur your sister's assessment of Q. And, while I will not give up hope that Worf and Deanna, your parents and my long-time dear friends, will one day come to their senses, I must concede that for the time being there may be no point of reconciliation. You do not deserve to be punished for it. Would you both like the opportunity to meet privately in a discrete area somewhere on Earth?"

Eric and I share a look of complete shock before we both blurt out, "Yes!" Then I wrap my arms around the android. "Oh thank you, Data, for giving me back a piece of my family."

"I only hope that your parents will not be too angry with me for arranging this meeting."

I cannot believe the sacrifice Data is making for me; risking a longtime friendship to help me. If only I had the courage to confront them, Data would not be forced in the middle. If either of them talked to me, though, it would only be to try to convince me that I would be much happier living the life of a mortal girl on a starship. Listening to their argument would only betray who I am.

*****

As I fully rematerialize, I think about how ironic it is that I'm sneaking back aboard the Enterprise. Yet I couldn't disagree with Data's logic that while most of the crew is planet bound, the ship is the best place for a clandestine meeting. As I walk down the corridor toward the quarters I used to share with my family, I still can't help feeling uneasy. What if someone recognizes me? What if my parents haven't actually left yet?

No, Eric paged me after they beamed down to San Francisco. Data will keep them occupied for a long while.

I press the annunciator and wait for Eric to answer. Although I have walked through this door thousands of times unannounced, I no longer feel comfortable with doing so. When he answers my page, he acts as cautious as me, glancing in both directions down the corridor before letting me inside.

"Mother said they will be gone for hours," Eric tells me. "She begged me to go with them, but I convinced her that I'm a big boy and can manage on my own for a while."

"Good," I say. I want to hug him and tell him that everything will be all right. Oh, I feel so awkward! "I mean...well, what do you want to do?"

Waving his arms excitedly, Eric pirouettes in the direction of his room. "Let's play a game!"

Of course, such simple logic; a game to help us relax and become comfortable with one another after several months of separation. I follow him into his bedroom where he already has a small table with two chairs. A holographic video game player is setting on the table. As we sit down across from one another, Eric flips on the player and a small three-dimensional image of a Klingon in mok'bara garb appears.

"I've been mostly playing the warrior's training programs, but there are lots of other games available. What sort of games are you into right now?"

I stare at my brother, unable to answer and wonder if he's becoming the warrior father had tried to make out of me. Suddenly, I'm feeling a strong longing to fulfill all their hopes and dreams they had for me. I had no idea that the push and pull of this dilemma...to return or to stay gone forever...would be so difficult to manage. I made my decision months ago. Didn't I?

"Shannara?!" Eric says, concerned. "Don't leave me. I know I said that the Continuum didn't seem like a bad place, but...isn't home better?"

Glancing down at the video player to browse through the programs, I select a simulation of a game called Hexa-Match . "This isn't my home anymore," I say as I make the first move. "I wish I felt comfortable here, that I was a normal child, with normal needs."

"You're my big sister," he replies as he studies my move. After sliding one of his pieces across the holographic board, he shrugs. I'm not sure if he's in doubt of his move or our conversation. "You seem normal to me."

"If I were normal, we wouldn't be having this conversation." Noticing a weakness in his initial move, I slide one of my pieces into a dominant position. Although Hexa-Match is an easy enough game for kids to learn, most adults have difficulty mastering it. I cannot play a fair game with my brother and I regret that most of all.

"I don't care whatever you are. You're my sister and I enjoy spending time with you." He moves his second piece, another weak move. "Even if you win a thousand games against me." He smiles sincerely at me and I can't help smiling back. "I'd be honored to lose everyone."

As I study my brother, I think about the Q who visited me a few days ago. His faction looks at every creature in the multiverse with respect and even awe. If they can exist to protect ever cat, ever slug, then the least I can do is be there for my brother. "You can count on me, Eric. I promise. I'll be there for you."

We played games for hours and I let him win one or two.