Chapter Three:

"Robin!" Doctor Beverly Crusher exclaimed as she caught the young woman in the corridor at Starbase 217. "I didn't know you were stationed here."

"Dr. Crusher, what a pleasant surprise!" The two women hugged. "I've been stationed here for the last eighteen months," Robin Lefler replied.

"Then this station must be bigger than it seems, because I've been here for three weeks and I can't believe I haven't run into you before now." Beverly reflected over this for a moment. "You must be overdue for a check up. Why haven't you stopped by the infirmary?"

Robin looked the doctor straight in the eyes and with conviction, said, "I've been busy--in engineering. My commanding officer, Chief Jeckyl, expects me to work at a hundred and fifty percent capacity."

Beverly chuckled. "Jeckyl the jackel--I've heard about him. Then you're overworked. All the more reason to get your health checked."

Conceding with a smile and a nod, Robin said, "I suppose I should make that a new law, Number 178: Take care of your health, so you can perform your duties."

"Take care of your health, so you can enjoy life!"

"And I will just as soon as the jackel gives me some time off."

"Don't let your work turn into your life." Beverly faltered as she realized she might sound like a hypocrite.

Robin brushed it off, probably out of kindness. "I'd have thought you would have been assigned to another starship by now with your credentials."

"Well, after what happened with my last two ships, I thought I'd accept an assignment on a starbase for a while."

Robin grew distant for a moment, afraid to broach the subject that hung between them. "I heard about your. . .problem."

"You can say it, Robin, without offending me. My regeneration."

"It must have been very confusing for you, Captain Picard and all the other crewmembers aboard the Stargazer. You died!"

"Yes, I did. But thanks to the Akodians, I came back. It was difficult to adjust for a long time. I've undergone countless hours of therapy three times a week, but I'm fine now. As of three weeks ago, my therapy sessions have been reduced to once a week. I've been on partial active duty for six months, which actually worked out rather well for me. I spent my free time studying up on new medical techniques. And now I've been given the okay from Starfleet to return to full active duty. You're looking at the new CMO of this station.

"That's wonderful news," Robin said. "Look, I'm just coming off a very long shift. If you have some free time, would you like to go to one of the cafeterias and talk over a couple of hot drinks?"

"I'd be delighted." Placing her hand gently on the younger woman's back, Beverly accompanied Robin to the girl's favorite hang out. It was a small cafe that played ancient music from several cultures. The eclectic blend was somehow appealing to the majority of young officers aboard the station. Beverly found the music rather soothing. Maybe I'm not so old after all, she mused.

After they had their drinks and were seated at a booth, Beverly said, "I have a feeling that you didn't ask me here just for small talk." She peered curiously into Robin's eyes, wondering what someone she hadn't seen in a few years could possibly have to tell her.

"You're right. You saw right through me." Robin sipped nervously at her hot tea, obviously deliberating how to approach a delicate subject. Robin placed both arms on the table and leaned forward. "So, how did you handle it being out of work all those months. I mean, once you began feeling better, didn't you have a lot of free time on your hands?"

Beverly continued to study the girl. Although Robin had broached a serious subject, the doctor somehow suspected there was a more pertinent reason for this conversation. She only hoped Robin would find the courage to direct the discussion toward the matter.

"I found free time in abundance!" Beverly responded. "My counselor advised me to spend time with relaxing holodeck programs. I did for a while, but even that can get rather boring after several months. I wanted something to do. Even busywork sounded appealing at that point! That's when I began studying up on new medical techniques, as I said before. There'd been quite a few advances during my. . .absence. I wanted to feel normal again, you know. I wanted to be a doctor and treat patients, not be a patient. "I guess the rumor about doctors making the worst patients is true."

Robin chuckled.

"It's easy for us to give out advice, and so hard to take it. I've been placed back on full duty, but that doesn't stop my therapist from telling me to take it easy."

"I don't know, doctor. I have trouble finding time to relax myself. My social life is practically non existent. I can't remember who my last date was."

"A beautiful young woman like you?"

"The truth is I haven't found anyone I'm truly interested in -not since Wesley."

This took Beverly aback for a couple of seconds. She knew that Robin and Wesley had become friends, but she had no idea that Robin was interested in her son."Oh?" was all she could manage.

"I was wondering if you'd heard from him at all."

"I'm afraid not. I know the traveler's looking out for Wes and that Wes is well beyond the stage of needing someone to mother him, but that doesn't stop a mother from worrying. Where is he? What is he doing? Does he think about me and worry about me as much as I do him?"

Robin clutched the doctors hand. "I'm sure your foremost in his thoughts Dr. Crusher. When he visited you right before he joined the traveler, did he say anything about me?"

"No. Is there something I don't know about?"

"Apparently, and I don't know for the life of me why Wesley didn't tell you. Wesley and I grew close when I served my first year out of the academy on board the Enterprise. The problem with the Ktarian game had a lot to do with our initially getting hooked up, but we remained close afterward- through subspace communications. Toward the end it had gotten to where we sent each other daily messages."

"Really? I can't understand why he never spoke of you."

"Neither can I. Especially since he had proposed marriage to me only a week before he left with the traveler."

"Proposed to you! But Wesley should have been happy ecstatic even. So why was he so disturbed and put-off by life?"

"That's a question I wish he were here to answer."

During her shift, Beverly reflected over her conversation with Robin. The girl had blossomed into a fine young woman. She was intelligent and at twenty-six had already accomplished a lot during her short career. Beverly wouldn't be surprised if there was a promotion for her in the near future. Why had Wes thrown away a life with a wonderful woman? Beverly would have been proud to call Robin her daughter-in-law. I could have been a grandmother by now, she mused, wondering if that would ever be possible now.

When she came off duty, Crusher went straight to her quarters. She tired easier than she used to before her near-death experience. Near death! Even after two years of therapy, Beverly still had difficulty describing, visualizing the death experience she and everyone else aboard the Stargazer had endured. They had been dead for months--months!--and then brought back to life by an alien-made miracle. Regeneration they had called it. The Akodians felt responsible. After all, it was their wormhole which had caused the Stargazer's destruction.

Almost the moment she stepped into her quarters, Beverly's console beeped with an incoming message. Sighing heavily, she wasn't sure she was up for talking with anyone, but answered it anyway. Her favorite captain greeted her on the small viewscreen, and instantly, she perked up.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Resilient," she teased him. "How are things with you, Jean-Luc?"

"Actually, I was calling to ask you the same question," he said. "And to ask if you were up for a visit from an old friend. My crew's due for another shore leave, and I thought you and I could spend some time together, maybe act out a holo novel or some other non-productive activity."

"Sounds wonderful."

Picard had returned to command duty a mere six months after their regeneration. According to the Akodians, his was one of the quickest recoveries on record. The Stargazer had been out of commission while he was undergoing therapy, and he had gladly accepted her back from Starfleet when ready to return to duty. Just as much as any member of his crew, she was a victim, having undergone as much scrutiny during those six month's as her captain, and he wanted to personally see her through the transition of rebirth. Of course, he was working with a new crew now; out of twelve hundred crewmembers, only one hundred and seven to date had returned to serve aboard the Stargazer. His first officer, Commander Martha Lasalle, was among those few. She'd been declared fit for duty ten months after regeneration.

"I should be in your area in about five days, six on the outside. By the way, you didn't answer me. How are you feeling?"

"You didn't answer that question either, Mister," Beverly replied with a smirk. "Now that I know you're coming, I'm doing wonderfully. I think some leisure time will be the perfect prescription for both of us."

"I'm glad to hear that. I'm doing quite all right, but my new CMO seems to think I overwork myself."

"Now where would he get an idea like that?"

Picard simply nodded the question away. "How are you adjusting to starbase life after years on a starship?"

"It's quite different. In some ways, I like it better. In other ways, I strongly miss the adventure of discovering the unknown. For a while at least, I want to stay put, catch my bearings, and a starbase simply offers me more of an opportunity to do that. I don't know how on Earth you jumped back on a starship so quickly, Jean- Luc. One of these days, you'll have to share your secret with me."

He smiled, a twinkle forming in his eye, but no offered secrets were forthcoming. "Now, you'll just have to figure that one out for yourself."

"Oh, I have some news that you're not going to believe," Beverly said. "Guess who I ran into today? Robin Lefler!"

"Lefler?" Picard was obviously trying to place a face with the name.

"You know, the young woman who befriended Wesley during the Ktarian Game crisis?" Recognition dawned on the captain's face. "She's a bright young lady, command material, I'm sure of it. We'll have to visit with her while you're here. You can offer her some pointers."

Picard nodded, but his expression conveyed that he had other activities on his mind. "Perhaps a short visit would not impose on the young engineer too much."

"Great! I'll see you in five days then."

After saying her goodbyes with Jean-Luc, Beverly went to the replicator and ordered a light dinner, a salad and a grilled chicken. As she ate, her thoughts wondered to a day several weeks after her regeneration. She barely remembered anything from the weeks previous and so her mind often settled on that first vivid, cohesive memory when she finally became aware that she was truly alive. She was lying on a biobed inside an infirmary. When she sat up and studied her surroundings, she recognized other crewmembers from the Stargazer also either lying or sitting up in beds. At first, she had been confused and couldn't understand why they were all there. Then it all came crashing back down on her; the accident, the regeneration, the treatments. No matter how hard she tried to shut out those memories, from that day forward, she could not block them out.

Beverly slipped on her nightgown a little before 2100 hours. She ordered a warm milk from the replicator and after drinking it, crawled under her covers. She read part of a novel for a little while, but soon could not keep her eyes open. Despite her weariness, she had difficulty slipping fully into sleep. She would almost reach a REM state and something would suddenly jerk her awake.

Minutes or hours later--in her semi-conscious state, she couldn't tell--an odd sensation came over her. She could not describe the emotion she felt, fear, anxiety, a strange longing, maybe all of them in fluxuating degrees. Hearing a ruffling sound at the foot of her bed, she sat up and squinted her eyes to see in the dim light. She thought she saw a shadow, a man perhaps, but before she could focus fully, it disappeared.

"Wesley?" she said aloud.

She had no reason to suspect that Wesley would return after all these years. Hadn't she given up hope a long time ago?

No, she realized. And she had every right to want him back. She was his mother!

"Wesley," she said more softly. "Why are you still avoiding me?"

As she laid back down, Beverly began questioning her sanity. Was she really fit for duty? If she was going to start imagining that she was seeing men in her quarters, maybe she wasn't ready to cut down on her therapy.

Beverly was awoken early by the beeping of her computer console, indicating that she had an incoming message. She did not at first feel alarmed, because she often received messages at odd hours, but she did feel annoyed at the sender's timing. She had just finally gone into a deep sleep.

"This better be important," she muttered as she stepped out of bed. "Computer, increase lighting by 50%." She sat down at her desk and instructed the computer to patch the caller through.

She was surprised to see Will Riker on the screen. She had not seen or heard from him, since he had left her and the rest of the Stargazer crew in the caring hands of the Akodians and qualified Starfleet counselors. She hoped that he was calling to congratulate her on her new commission, but she sincerely doubted it.

"I really hate to bother you at this hour," he said.

"Will, what's wrong?"

"A short while ago, Worf and Deanna, along with Dr. Selar, disembarked from the Enterprise aboard the runabout Huron," Will told her. "Their daughter has been in an accident. It's serious, Beverly. Shannara is currently in stasis and has suffered severe brain damage. Dr. Selar has given her prognosis--and it's grim. She believes the girl will require a brain graft. I'm afraid you may be her only hope."

"How long do I have before they arrive?"

"Five, maybe six days."

Not long, Beverly mused. She would need to spend all her free time updating her knowledge of brain grafts. She remembered that the technology had still been in its theory stage at the time of her accident, but hadn't she read in one of the medical journals a couple of months ago that the surgery had proven successful on several species from various worlds?

"I'll be ready for them," she promised.

After saying goodbye to Will, Beverly sent a subspace message to Starfleet Medical requesting a petition to perform the necessary surgery. If she was going to convince the heads of the medical department that the surgery was not only necessary, but that she was the right doctor to perform the surgery, then she had her research ahead of her.

Performing the surgery on any full-blooded species would be difficult, but little Shannara had the makeup of three genetic codes. Each brought its own idiosyncrasies into the equation. What could save the life of one, could kill one of the others. Finding a balance between the three might prove to be the greatest challenge of Beverly's career.

For the next five days, when she was not treating patients, Beverly spent her time in front of a computer console reading and rereading all available information on the brain graft. At first, she had felt overwhelmed about returning to full-time work after having relied on mental crutches for two years, but now with little Shannara depending on her, Beverly felt renewed with a purpose. No longer would she come on duty with lingering doubts of her ability to head the medical team. She would show the heads of Starfleet that they were not wrong to offer her this position.

The brain graft procedure was both astonishing and a bit frightening to her. Beverly had always considered herself a competent--in all honesty, even better than most doctors--but did she possess the ability to perform the controversial surgery?

She continued her research by refreshing her memory of the physiology of Klingons and Betazoids. She drew up graphs comparing the similarities and differences of each genetic code. There weren't very many similarities. In fact, it was not much short of a miracle that Klingon and Betazoid genes could coexist.

A subspace message arrived from Dr. Selar on the evening of the fifth day. They were only a few hours from the station. Shortly afterward, Beverly heard from Admiral Harrison at Starfleet Medical.

"We received your request to perform the experimental brain graft on a young child," he informed her. "I have discussed the proposal with the other board members. I must tell you that we are quite concerned that the child is of three genetic codes."

"I realize that further complicates an already complicated procedure, sir."

"It does indeed. For that reason, we feel we need more information before we can reach a decision."

"I see. The patient, Shannara Rozhenko, will be arriving at this station in a few hours. I will confer with Dr. Selar about the girl's condition at that time as well as perform a thorough examination myself."

"I do trust that you are professional enough not to allow your relationship with the girl's parents to cloud your judgment." A statement, and yet Beverly could hear the question in the admiral's words.

"Of course, sir. I will be as accurate as ever."

"We will make a decision on this matter as quickly as possible. I do understand there's a precious life at stake. I have grandchildren, great grandchildren even. I will be awaiting your report."

"Thank you, Admiral."

*****

Beverly nervously waited out the remaining hours. She was on duty throughout most of it, but there was little for her to do in the infirmary. She had no critical patients to tend to; only three patients using biobeds and under observation. A few crewmembers came in for routine physicals and minor injuries. To Beverly's relief, Robin was one of the officers who stopped by for an examination.

"I'll use any excuse to get away from the jackal," she joked. "And if you find anything wrong with me, maybe you can order me to take a few days of R and R."

"You're in perfect health," the doctor informed her as she set down her medical tricorder. Robin slumped her shoulders in obvious disappointment. "But. . .I'll see what I can do about getting Jeckyl to give you some time off."

"Thanks!" Robin jumped off the biobed. "I guess I should get back to recalibrating those sensor arrays."

After Robin left, Beverly again searched for something to do. Why when she needed busy work could she find none?

So instead, she spent most of her time thinking about what she could say to Deanna. She found it easy to place herself in Deanna's situation. What loving mother couldn't? But that did not bring any words that could truly comfort Deanna or take away the pain she was feeling. No word, no action ever could.