Chapter Four:

When the time came for Crusher to meet her old friends at the docking bay, she suddenly knew what Deanna needed most--and what she needed to give her. The two friends fell into an embrace, and both women cried freely.

"Please help us, Beverly," Deanna pleaded.

Beverly glanced over at Worf who was standing beside them. She noticed tears rolling down the Klingon's cheeks. She had never seen Worf cry before in the more than a decade they had known each other.

Pulling away from her friend, the doctor nodded and said, "Let's get Shannara down to the infirmary." She approached Dr. Selar, who was standing next to the runabout's open hatch. "What is the girl's current condition?"

"She remains stable. The stasis tube was unaffected by the trip and is operating at ninety-six percent of optimal efficiency." The Vulcan stepped aside to allow her colleague first entrance and then followed Beverly inside. "They are using the first quarters," Dr. Selar informed Beverly as they walked through the bridge and into the runabout's single corridor.

When they stepped into the room, they found Alexander sitting on the sofa with a young black girl roughly his own age. They were staring at his comatose sister, lying in the stasis tube only meters away, and at first, did not realize that anyone had entered the vessel.

Beverly walked over to the small child in the stasis tube and ran her hand along the clear plastic as though the action would sooth the child. Maybe it does, she mused, recalling that Deanna had told her that Shannara had inherited some of her empathic abilities.

"She looks as though she's at peace," Crusher said shakily. Dr. Selar did not share her emotional reaction and yet somehow Beverly felt better speaking aloud. "She's too young to be barely clinging to life!"

Upon hearing those words, Alexander stood and bolted out of the room. The girl acted as though she wanted to follow him, but remained seated, staring anxiously at the doctors.

"The patient was without oxygen for over seven minutes," Dr. Selar began in a methodical tone. "Her lungs were filled with water when the medical team was alerted. They removed the water and quickly stabilized her before having her transported directly to sickbay where she was immediately placed in a stasis tube. The majority of the brain damage is centered on the cerebral cortex and a small portion of the cerebellum. If she does recover, she most likely will require complete motor function therapy."

"But that isn't our first concern," Beverly said expectantly. "I've been researching the laboratory experiments with the brain graft during the past five days. Despite Shannara's blend of genetic codes, I think we have an excellent chance of pulling her through the surgery. The question that's plaguing my mind is will it really be Shannara who comes out of all this? Will her memories be in tact? Will she know who her Mommy and Daddy are?

"If necessary, she will relearn that as well."

Beverly laughed sarcastically. "I'm sure her mother will be overjoyed to hear that. I'll just tell her, 'Don't worry, Deanna. Your baby will recognize you again--someday."

"Now is not the time to allow emotions to control us. We need to carefully plan out and submit our proposed procedure for Starfleet Medical's approval."

"Well, you're levelheaded enough for the both of us, so allow me to get emotional." Beverly turned back to the lifeless little girl. For months, she had wanted to spend some time with Deanna and Worf, to get to know their daughter, but she had been overwhelmed by problems of her own. She hadn't expected to meet Shannara like this. She had thought there was plenty of time. Don't think like that! She chided herself. The baby will get through this, and you and Deanna will get to enjoy some time together afterward. Beverly's face filled with tears.

"Although I do not share your emotional response," Selar began, placing her hands behind her back, "I do wish to see the child reach full recovery, just as you do."

"Thank you, Doctor, if not for understanding, than at least for accepting my Human emotions." Crusher wiped at her face. As she tried to catch her bearings, it grew eerily quiet in the room. Beverly sensed somehow that someone had entered the room and turned around, expecting that Alexander had returned. Instead, another familiar young man stared back at her. He was wearing a plaid shirt with a sleeveless denim jacket. Her son, she realized. But as she took a step toward him, he vanished.

"Is there a problem, Doctor?" Selar asked.

Beverly hesitated before answering. Vulcans already thought Humans insane for their emotions. How would Selar judge her if she told the Vulcan doctor she had just seen a glimpse of her long-lost son? Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. Maybe, she decided, it was best not to tell anyone that she had seen Wesley, not once, but twice now.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Let's transport the girl to the infirmary, so I can run some additional tests. We better move quickly if we want Starfleet Medical to approve the surgery." Selar nodded once in agreement and Crusher tapped her commbadge. "Crusher to infirmary. Three to beam directly to the infirmary."

Both doctors agreed that Shannara needed to remain in stasis until she could undergo surgery. Fortunately, conducting a brain scan was not impossible under such conditions.

Beverly's tests confirmed Dr. Selar's diagnosis. The two doctors spent the next few hours preparing a thorough report to submit to Starfleet Medical, outlining why they felt a brain graft might succeed in this case. Beverly didn't like referring to Shannara as "a case," but on that part, Dr. Selar won. It would look far more professional in the eyes of Starfleet Medical, the Vulcan argued.

During the late afternoon, Crusher had an appointment scheduled with Counselor Bennett. She thought about canceling it and continue working on her report. But she remembered Bennett admonishing her for working too hard, and he would not take it too well if she canceled now. She needed a break she admitted. And she needed someone a little more emotional than Dr. Selar to talk with about Shannara.

"I was supposed to see my counselor ten minutes ago," Beverly told the Vulcan "If you'll excuse me for an hour or so, I think I better keep the appointment."

"I will be here when you return," Selar responded without looking up from her notes.

"Right." Beverly made her way to the door and glanced back at the other doctor before leaving. She wondered if working too hard applied to Vulcans as well.

*****

"You will contact your father," Worf bellowed at his son's girlfriend as he escorted her to her temporary quarters.

"Yes sir," she replied timidly. I'm sorry. I--I- -"

"Enough! Do as you are told. You will remain in your quarters for the evening. If your father decides it is acceptable for you to remain here for the duration, then we will decide, with his guidance, what is to be done with you."

Rosa felt like old equipment being stashed in a closet somewhere. Why should the Klingon commander be concerned with her? She was just some girl he did not know who had participated in the neglect and subsequent injury of his daughter. She was lucky he wasn't sweeping her under the carpet like dirt!

"I understand, sir." Still she stood out in the corridor like an idiot, unsure if she should say anymore to him. What could he possibly want to hear from her?

"For the evening means now, young lady."

Now his words did galvanize her, and she slipped into the small, one-bedroom quarters that had been afforded her. She stared at the sparse living area and for a moment in her emotional numbness, forgot what she was supposed to be doing. When it dawned on her, Rosa slowly and with great trepidation, walked over to the computer console and instructed it to send a subspace message to Lieutenant Daniel Cassadaga aboard the USS Enterprise. She didn't know how to explain why she had stowed away on the Huron, so she simply asked her father to contact her at his convenience. She knew how worried her parents must be. The realization brought her further shame.

*****

"I'm sorry I'm late, Counselor," Beverly said as she stepped into her psychologist's office.

"It's all right," he assured her. "You are my last patient for the day anyway."

"I have to admit, I almost didn't come. I'm in the middle of a very important case and I feel guilty pulling away from my little patient even for an hour."

"You must remind yourself that an overly exhausted doctor can do her patients more harm than good. You are not neglecting your work. You are resting, so you can focus better on each task."

Yes, and that's why I decided to keep this appointment. I've been working closely with a Vulcan doctor, Dr. Selar. I worked with her before on the Enterprise for several years. We've always worked well together. Don't get me wrong; our work has gone smoothly today. But with our current case, like never before, I find her emotional reserve quite unnerving."

"I can understand that. I've dealt with a few Vulcans in my time."

Beverly allowed herself to smile slightly. "It's been a very trying day. You heard about young Shannara Rozhenko, didn't you?"

Dr. Bennett nodded. "Yes. Perhaps you should suggest to the family that they stop by to see me. They shouldn't try to deal with the trauma on their own."

"Agreed." Beverly hesitated before shifting back to herself. "I know I promised you I would take it easy and rely heavily on my staff, but I've been having so much trouble relaxing the past few days."

"That's understandable. Have you been taking anything to help you relax?"

"Just a glass of warm milk before I go to bed every night. It's what I prescribe to all my insomnia patients."

"Good. Tell me how working with the Rozhenko girl makes you feel."

"It reminds me how unfair life can be. I am truly worried about the girl, but I can't help thinking about my own mortality. It reminds me of my own regeneration all over again. And when I look into her mother's eyes, my dear friend, Deanna, I can't help but think about how I lost my son. He's not dead and yet it feels that way sometimes. It really hurt me when he didn't show up after my regeneration. I needed him then more than ever! Surely the Traveler wouldn't keep Wesley from me during a time of need. So why has he never contacted me? I'm being very selfish, aren't I?"

"You shouldn't look at it that way," Bennett encouraged her. "You're Human. You have feelings. To deny them would be to deny a part of yourself. You need to worry about your health first. If you are not well, how can you help Shannara?"

Beverly stared into the counselor's eyes for a long moment. She wasn't sure if she should say more. Would he think she was backsliding if she told him about her visions of Wesley? Of course! A voice inside her screamed. She couldn't bear the thought of being placed on medical leave again!

"There's something more you need to tell me." Bennett was not a Betazed, and yet he often seemed as perceptive as one.

"You may think I've gone crazy and that I should resume extensive therapy and maybe you would be right, but it doesn't do me any good to keep things from my therapist." She sighed heavily, paused and sighed again. "So here it goes. I've seen my son. I've seen Wesley. The first time, I was almost certain I'd imagined it. I had fallen asleep when something awoke me. The lighting in the room was very dim, but I swear I saw a man standing at the end of my bed. I called out to him--actually, I called out 'Wesley.' I'm not sure why really. I couldn't see his face, so I had no way to suspect it was my son. You're probably thinking I should have screamed. A man in my bedroom! Yet oddly I wasn't afraid."

"And you saw him again later?" Bennett's tone revealed neither doubt nor belief, only a willingness to listen.

"Yes. It was right after the Rozhenko's arrived. I saw him on the runabout. He was only there for a brief moment, but that time I was certain it was him. The room was fully lit and he was standing no more than ten meters away from me."

"Did anyone else see him?"

"I don't think so. He disappeared after a few seconds. Only Dr. Selar and a young girl the Rozhenkos brought with them were in the room. Dr. Selar had her back turned. Maybe the girl, Rosa I think her name is, saw Wesley, but she seemed almost in shock. I'm not even sure she fully realized I was in the room. You must think I'm nuts! Please don't tell me that this is some bizarre side effect of regeneration. After two years, I don't think I could handle another one."

"I don't believe this has anything to do with your regeneration," Bennett said to her relief. "I think it has more to do with your work. Certainly, we both agree that handling Shannara Rozhenko's case has placed you under a lot of stress. While I do feel you are well enough to continue working, you need to pace yourself, allow your staff to shoulder some of the burden."

Beverly knew he was offering her sound advice. Following it was the real problem. "I'll try," she managed.

"Good. I would give you the same advice whether you were seeing glimpses of your estranged son or not. I know that you were hurt deeply when your son chose to leave with the Traveler."

Since Bennett had taken over her case three weeks ago. Beverly had spent much of the time telling him about her son and about his relationship with the enigmatic Traveler. "It's understandable that you are longing for his return." Beverly held her breath. He did think she was imagining it! "And given what you've told me about the Traveler and the abilities he bestowed on your son, I won't rule out the possibility that you really have seen your son."

"You think he finally wants to see me? That he's gotten homesick?"

Bennett raised a hand to calm the anxious mother. "All I'm saying is that if you have another incident, I don't want you to be afraid to tell me about it."

"I will, Counselor and thank you for not assuming that I've regressed."

"Relax," Bennett said, smiling jovially. You won't do yourself or your patients any good if you continue to stretch yourself too far. You've come a long way, and if you keep up the progress, soon you won't even need me."

"I'm not in that much of a rush!" Beverly replied. She wanted to be proclaimed mentally stable, but she couldn't quite give up her crutch yet.

*****

Cassadaga took less than an hour to reply to his daughter. His dark, burly features nearly covered the entire screen."Rosa, of all the impetuous--"

"Daddy, please let me explain. I had to come."

"So you've gone traipsing off to be with your lover. Is that how it is?" Just how involved have you become with the Rozhenko boy?"

There it was lying thick between them, the question Rosa did not want to answer. Her parents knew that she had been seeing Alex for a while, because she had brought him to her quarters a few times to study together. Of course, they would wonder how far the relationship had gone. Rosa was not so naive to not realize that her father had been hoping it would never evolve into anything more than friendship.

"I'm waiting for an answer."

"No! I mean--that's not exactly why I decided to come with them. I'm worried about Alex' little sister. She may die! I really love him, Daddy, and I think he loves me, too and I can't bear to see them in pain. There's nothing wrong with my dating a Klingon. Please don't by angry."

He sighed. "It's not that I mind my daughter seeing a Klingon boy. It's the twenty-fourth century, after all. We deal with this sort of thing every day. You're both just so young. You're not ready for a mature relationship."

And his mother was half human," Rosa informed him, ignoring the other issue. Did you know that? She had a difficult time fitting in with both humans and Klingons. Don't make Alex feel that way!"

"Rosa, I'm going to tell you something I should have told you long ago. Five generations ago....six for you....my three times great grandfather married a caucasian woman and they had a son together, who eventually became the grandfather to my grandfather."

"So, I have a little white blood in me. Daddy, this is the twenty-fourth century. Who's going to care?"

"No matter how much of a Utopia the Federation builds itself up to be, prejudices will never entirely go away. You'd be wise to keep that in mind, Rosa, especially while dating a Klingon boy."

"I was visiting Alex when the accident happened," Rosa admitted.

"I didn't know," he responded, alarm plastering his features. He backed up slightly. At least he no longer appeared angry. "How are you doing? Are you handling the situation okay?"

Feeling slightly dizzy, Rosa closed her eyes for a moment before answering. "I can't get the image out of my mind. She was purple when he pulled her out of the water! I can't hardly sleep and when I do, I have nightmares about her."

"Have you spoken with anyone about this?"

"I've seen the psychologist aboard the station, Counselor Bennett. He's a good man. He really wants to help me."

"Good. I want you to continue seeing him."

"You mean. . .I can stay here?"

"For the time being. I think it is best for you to see this to its conclusion. And since you've already begun therapy with one counselor. . .well, it would be too disconcerting to uproot you now and switch counselors midstream."

Rosa sighed heavily. "Thanks Daddy."

"Now that doesn't mean you're free to do as you please. I expect to hear from you at least once a day."

"Of course."

*****

That night, Crusher and Selar finally sent their report to Starfleet Medical in a secured subspace transmission.

Beverly's first impulse after leaving her office was to go to Deanna and comfort her friend. She was sure her old friend was not sleeping, and probably would refuse to until hearing the diagnosis. Deanna helped me right after my regeneration, Beverly thought with a heavy sigh. Now it's time for me to return the favor.

She made it halfway to the Rozhenko's quarters when her commbadge beeped. An engineer on gamma duty in the docking bay came across the channel to inform her that the Stargazer had arrived. Suddenly, she realized that she'd forgotten all about Jean-Luc's planned visit.

"I'm on my way," she said into her commbadge, deciding she would talk with the captain first. He could accompany her to Worf and Deanna's quarters. He would want to be there for them, to help in anyway possible. Yes, she thought as she changed directions, having Jean-Luc around will be quite helpful. He's always been my anchor. Mr. Resilient.

He was waiting for her in Docking Bay Two. As she approached, he observed, "You don't look very happy to see me."

"I am happy to see you." Beverly wrapped her arms around the captain, nuzzling her chin into his neck. I'm relieved to see you."

"What's wrong?" Picard could always tell when something was bothering his favorite doctor.

"It's Worf and Deanna, Jean-Luc," she responded as she pulled away from him. "Their daughter has been injured."

"It must be pretty serious for them to bring her all the way out here."

"It is. She nearly drowned in a tub of water. Alexander found her several minutes later."

"Brain damage, then?" Picard asked with a heavy heart.

"Irreparable by conventional means. She's clinically still alive and yet.... what kind of life is it?" Breaking down, Beverly collapsed into Jean-Luc's arms. For a long moment, they stood there, him comforting her with his embrace. "I was on my way to see them when I received word that you had arrived." Beverly pulled away to look him in the eyes. "There's an experimental brain graft procedure. It's been successfully tried on several non-sentient species and Dr. Selar and I prepared a proposal to Starfleet Medical requesting to attempt the surgery on Shannara."

"But you're dealing with the brain, the very center of her sentience. What if it worked on other species because of their lack of sentience?"

Beverly hesitated before answering. She knew he was right to question the validity of the surgery. Similar questions had been racing through her head for days! But dammit, what other choice did she have? "It's her only hope."

With a heavy breath, Picard said, "Well, let's go pay our respects to Worf and Deanna. Shall we?"

"I'm glad your here, Jean-Luc." Beverly cupped her arm inside his and together, they left the docking bay.