Chapter Seven:
Picard arrived at the infirmary for lunch at the
agreed upon time. Beverly was finishing up with a
patient, but nodded in his direction to let him know
she had seen him enter. While he waited, his attention
diverted toward Worf and Deanna, who were hovering over
their unconscious daughter. He wanted to go to them
and offer words of further comfort. What could he say,
though? There were no magical words that would restore
the child to health. Better not to disturb their
privacy, he decided.
"Jean-Luc," Beverly said as she approached him.
The Captain did not turn to look at her, and her gaze
wandered in the same direction. "They've been here for
a long while." He suspected as much. "They're doing
the only thing they can for their daughter right now--
talking to her. It's the best therapy--for all of
them."
"Has Lwaxana been to see the child yet?" He
remembered the difficulty Deanna's mother had had
dealing with her eldest daughter's death even years
after the tragedy and felt a great sympathy for her now.
"No. And that troubles me. You know how she
suppressed her own daughter's death. I fear she may
suffer another telepathic breakdown if she doesn't come
to grips with her granddaughter's injury. Quite
frankly, Jean-Luc, one coma patient at a time, is more
than enough for me to handle."
"I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but
perhaps we should invite Lwaxana to join us for lunch.
She should not be alone at a time like this."
They turned toward each other. Their plans of
spending a few days alone together were certainly
shattered. Picard felt a deep regret, not over
inviting Lwaxana to join them, but because he had
allowed the beginning of a relationship with Beverly to
slip away from his grasp far too many times over the
years. He wanted a chance to further discuss where
they went from here. If only life afforded him just
one more chance. . .
"I think we should ask Lwaxana to join us," she
replied reluctantly. He could see the disappointment
in her eyes. He was sure he wasn't imagining it!
*****
"That was so thoughtful of you to invite me,"
Lwaxana Troi said as she and the captain sat down at a
table. She wiped at her eyes with a tissue to clear up
her mascara, spoiled earlier by tears.
"You shouldn't be alone at a time like this,"
Picard said. Why was he responding with such a cliche? He struggled for something
better to offer and could not come up with anything.
Beverly brought their lunches over on a tray,
tossed salads for each of them, a grilled sandwich with
replicated meat from a recipe from some exotic planet
for the Captain, spaghetti for the doctor, and some
fruit and cottage cheese for Lwaxana. Despite the
morose atmosphere, Picard found himself grateful that
Lwaxana no longer brought the servile Mr. Homn on trips
with her. He was on edge enough without having to
listen to a gong with the ambassador's every bite.
"I hope everything is to your satisfaction,"
Beverly said as she sat down.
"It smells wonderful," Picard replied with a wan
smile. After they began eating, he looked toward
Lwaxana. "Beverly tells me you haven't been to see
your granddaughter yet. I know how her accident must
remind you of Kestra."
"Ohhhh," was Lwaxana's only verbal reply.
"If you don't go see her," Crusher said, "Would
you ever forgive yourself? She needs the people
who love her around her."
Lwaxana picked up a piece of fruit to nibble.
"She's a beautiful, sweet little girl, Lwaxana,"
Beverly continued. "Let her know her grandma loves
her."
Dropping her fruit rind, Lwaxana pushed her plate
away. "My daughter. . .and my granddaughter are my
universe. . .my life. I am crushed. I am. . ." Tears
broke up her words. ". . .so very, very afraid."
When Picard and Crusher escorted Lwaxana Troi to
the infirmary, Worf and Deanna were no longer there.
Probably they had gone to eat or to rest, Beverly
decided. And perhaps it was better for Lwaxana to see
her granddaughter, for the first time after the
accident, uninhibited by the emotions of the girl's
parents.
Slowly, Lwaxana walked up to Shannara and placed
her hands gently on the clear plastic tubing. The
color had fully returned to the girl's face, making her
appear as though she were only asleep. Yet Lwaxana
could sense differently, for she could not read the
words and images that accompanied a normal dream state.
She could not read anything at all.
My Littlest One, can you hear me? Lwaxana thought
to the child.
Ambassador Troi was known throughout Federation
space as one of the most controlled telepaths. If
anyone could get through to her granddaughter, she was
the one. She waited for a tense, silent moment.
Although she still sensed nothing from Shannara, she
persisted fervently.
Grandma's here. I'm so sorry I didn't come to see
you earlier. I love you, Dear. I don't want you to
ever doubt that. Oh please, Baby! Where are you?
Please let me know you're still in there. Reach out to
me!"
Faintly, but ever so clearly, Lwaxana heard,
Gramma! flung at her telepathically. That single word
sent tears of joy rolling down her cheeks. She turned
toward the captain and the doctor smiling.
"She's in there," she told them as relief rocked
her entire body and weakened her knees. "My
granddaughter responded to my thoughts!"
"Keep talking to her," Beverly said, stepping
closer. She picked up a medical tricorder and scanned
her young patient for any elevation in her neural
activity.
"Shannara," Lwaxana said aloud. "Honey, keep
talking to me. I need to know that you're all right."
Can't see! The girl's voice came stronger this
time. Gramma. . .scared!
"I know you're scared, Baby, but you have to hang
in there."
"Her brain activity is rising," Crusher confirmed.
"A friend of your mommy's, Dr. Crusher, is here.
We're doing everything we can for you. You will come
back to us soon and when you do, Grandma's going to buy
you the prettiest dress and lots of new toys."
"I'm sorry," Beverly said, lowering the tricorder.
"Her brain activity is decreasing again."
"What does that mean?"
"It means," Crusher offered Lwaxana a reassuring
smile, "she has slipped back into a deep coma, but she
will remain stable as long as she's kept in the stasis
tube." The doctor touched Lwaxana lightly on the arm.
"You offered her love and hope. I can't think of any
better medicine."
"What more can we do now?"
Beverly averted her eyes for a moment,
uncomfortable with her Human limitations. "We're still
waiting for Starfleet Medical's approval of the
surgery. Until then, all we can do is more of the
same--closely monitor her and by all means continue to
visit and talk to her."
"If approval takes too long, will it be too late?"
"Lwaxana, I understand your concern, but as long
as the stasis tube remains active, her condition will
not deteriorate.
The grandmother nodded. "Thank you for taking the
time to coax me through this. I know how much I can be
a third wheel."
Beverly glanced back at Picard and they shared a
moment of satisfaction.
*****
"Hello Alexander," Dr. Bennett said with a
reassuring smile as the boy stepped into his office and
sat down. "I'm glad you decided to come see me."
"Yeah, well, I wasn't given much choice," the boy
responded. He fixed the counselor with a look of
disdain. He didn't believe counseling would help him.
It couldn't nurse his sister back to health. Finally
after their long, awkward stare was broken, Alexander
added, "I don't want to be here."
"Where would you rather be?"
The question startled him, because he didn't
immediately have an anser. "Anywhere."
"General answers are not allowed. Where would you
rather be?"
Although he didn't answer Bennett's question, he
began answering the unspoken one. "I wish I had played
with my sister more. I should have paid attention to
her when I was supposed to be watching her. I was so
damn selfish."
"Everyone is from time to time."
"But I knew what was expected from me! Shannara
was left in my care. Now she has to pay for my
mistake."
"Would you like to talk about what happened that
evening? I hear you invited a friend over."
"Rosa," he admitted. "I met her a couple of
months ago when her father transferred to the
Enterprise."
"And you really like this Rosa?"
"Yeah. She's easy to talk to. We've had a lot of
fun in the holodeck, in the arboretum or sharing
lunches in the cafeteria. She even makes studying
fun." As he spoke of his girlfriend, Alexander found
himself longing for the innocence they had shared
before the accident. "I can--or could--tell her things
my parents just wouldn't understand."
"Because there's a generation gap?" The boy
nodded. "Is there anything you would like to say to
your parents? Something you haven't been able to say?"
Alexander shrugged, unsure of himself. He used to
find it easy to talk with a counselor. When he and his
father had had trouble adjusting to his move to the
Enterprise, Deanna, calm and rational, had been there
to see them through the transition. Life had been so
simple then in comparison.
There was lots he wanted to say now to Counselor
Bennett. He just wasn't completely sure himself what
it all was. Maybe in another ten years, he'd have it
all sorted out. "They don't want to talk with me
anyway. They may never want to again."
"I think, Alexander, that you need to forgive
yourself before you can begin to expect anyone else
to."
The young Klingon fixed the older man with shock.
"Maybe I don't deserve forgiveness. And maybe I don't
want it!" He could hardly believe such harsh words had
come out of his mouth, and yet he felt better having
said them.
"Okay, I can understand that you would feel that
way," Bennett replied in a calm even voice. "Your pain
is still fresh and your sister's fate is uncertain."
Alexander uncomfortably mused over the counselor's
verbalization of his feelings. "You still haven't told
me much about Rosa. You invited her over and--"
"We only had one thing on our minds. We hadn't
talked about it. We talked about everything else. But
it was as though we could read each other perfectly,
because we both knew when the other was ready to make
the commitment.
"You are only fifteen years old. Most boys your
age aren't even sure what they want from themselves.
Can you tell me what your plans are for your future?"
Alex squirmed in his chair. "I haven't given it
much thought. I don't know. I thought I'd stay in
school for a while and see what I'm good at. I really
don't see what my future has to do with my feelings for
Rosa. It just happened! I was thinking about myself,
about my needs. And I'd forgotten about Shannara the
whole time. When I realized she was missing, I felt so
ashamed of what I'd done. When I found Shannara in the
water, I was horrified." He leaned forward, covering
his face in his hands. "I wish I had been hurt not
her. She was such a happy little girl, and I ruined
her life!"
"Alexander, I know you think it's impossible to
forgive yourself now. I can only tell you that it will
take time. I would like to see you again in three
days. Would you be willing to participate in a joint
counseling with your parents?"
Alexander, taken aback, opened his mouth, but took
a moment before verbalizing a reply. "Are you serious?
I don't know what I would say to them! They really
don't want to talk with me anyway."
"And what caused you to reach that conclusion?"
"Because I did a very evil thing. They have every
right to hate me and to not want anything to do with
me."
"I see. Do you think you even deserve to talk
with me?"
"You asked to see me."
"And why do you suppose I did that?"
"It's your job. You have to."
"I have to see patients who ask to see me, not the
other way around. I wanted you to come see me, because
I want to help you. What you did may have been evil,
as you say, but, Alexander, you are not evil.
A couple minutes later when Alexander stepped out
of Counselor Bennett's office, he found Rosa sitting in
the waiting area. Their eyes locked. He wanted to say
something to her, his partner in crime, but he didn't
know how to tell her that he still cared about her.
She stood and approached him. He wanted to tell her
that he was so sorry for the way he'd treated her since
the accident.
After pausing for a long moment, waiting for him
to speak and obviously flustered by uncertainty
herself, Rosa went on into the counselor's office for
her own session. His opportunity gone, Alexander left
not sure where he should go.
*****
"Shall we finish the day together?" Picard asked,
showing up at the infirmary just as he knew Beverly was
getting off duty.
She shut off her monitor and turned toward him.
"Only if you're buying dinner," she replied teasingly.
"I think that can be arranged." Picard offered
her his arm, and standing, she took it. They left the
infirmary together.
