Chapter Eleven:
Robin was not surprised to see Dr. Crusher at her
door and ushered the older woman inside.
"Robin," Beverly said, "I sense Wesley's presence
now more than ever. Why won't he answer me?"
Robin was momentarily taken aback by Beverly's
abruptness, but quickly realized that a mother
sometimes behaved irrationally where her child was
concerned. And Robin suspected the little girl's
surgery had zapped the doctor's strength.
"I don't know. I would think a son would want to
come home to a mother like you. You're so caring and
generous. You've devoted so much of your time to
helping others. You deserve something in return."
"Thanks. It doesn't explain anything, but it does
make me feel better." She mused over her behavior for
a moment. "I'm sorry for barging in on you like this.
I should have thought--I should have contacted you
first to make sure you were up for a visitor."
"It's okay," Robin said. Actually, she welcomed
the intrusion, because her only plans for the evening
were to study some reports and go to sleep early. "I
understand what you're going through. Why don't we sit
down, and we can talk for a while."
She could tell how desperately Beverly needed
someone to talk with by the pained expression on the
older woman's face. So Robin did not hesitate in
walking over to the sofa, offering Beverly no chance of
refusal.
After they were seated comfortably, Robin said,
"Tell me how Shannara Rozhenko is doing."
"The surgery went well, but that's no guarantee
she'll pull through. I've dealt with a lot of tough
cases throughout my career, but for some reason, this
one has me at wits end more than any other."
"That's because you're so close to her parents."
"You'd think that was the reason. It goes deeper
than that though. When I was regenerated, in essence I
was brought back to life and yet ever since then, I've
always felt like some tiny part of me was left behind."
"And this is your first serious case since you
returned to work." Robin thought she understood where
Beverly was coming from and probably for the same
reason, Beverly was desperate to see her son. A brush
with death could change anyone forever.
"Sometimes, I feel so inadequate that I wonder if
Starfleet Medical made a good decision in reinstating
me. I want to prove them right, but more importantly,
I want to see Shannara recover fully. That's why it's
vital that Wesley answer me, that he come to me. If I
understand the abilities the Traveler gave to Wesley
correctly, then am I expecting too much of him to bless
a beautiful little girl with health?"
I don't know. Are you saying that you think your
son has become godlike?" Robin asked the question
laced with sarcasm and yet it gave both of them pause.
"Obviously, the Traveler helped Wesley reach a higher
plane of existence, but how are we to know there isn't
still room for evolution for either of them?"
"I suppose only God knows all, sees all. I just
wish Wesley would answer me. I need to know if he's
all right. I just need him back in my life! And it
frustrates me that he won't answer my call. Do you
think maybe, if you call him, he'll answer?"
"Why do you think there's a greater chance he'll
answer me? He abandoned me, too, remember."
"Yes, but he came to see me before he left with
the Traveler. I spoke with him. I knew what he was
planning. You had no idea. One day, you were planning
a life together and in the next, he vanished out of
your life." Beverly wrinkled her nose in a pleading
expression. "I was thinking you could play more on his
guilt."
Robin sighed. "He should feel guilty, but not
just about leaving me. Okay, I'll do it."
"When will you have the time?"
Studying Beverly, Robin gauged the other woman's
desperation. Could Beverly hold herself together if
she had to wait? "Now if you like."
"Of course." Beverly reached out for the younger
woman's hands. "If we channel our thoughts--think the
same thing directed at Wesley, he'll come. He has to."
"What thought should we send him?"
"How about something simple and direct like
'Wesley, we need you'?"
Robin felt a little silly as she closed her eyes,
and still holding Beverly's hands, called out to
Wesley. She repeated the same words over and over
inside her mind. She knew it was a crazy scheme, but
what was even crazier was the fact she believed it
would work. Was there really something to this mind
transference?
Minutes passed and Robin wondered how long Beverly
planned to persist before giving up in frustration.
She was ready to insist that they quit when a figure
shimmered into existence a few meters away. Opening
her eyes, Robin peered at a bald man with ridged
eyebrows.
"The Traveler, Beverly gasped as she released her
grip on Robin and approached their visitor. "Is Wesley
with you? Where is Wesley?"
"He is nearby," the Traveler replied with the
richest calm Robin had ever heard. "But he is too
ashamed. He feels he does not deserve your
forgiveness. I feel it is partially my fault that he
has stayed away from you for so long. There was much
to teach him and there is still much more for him to
learn. I have kept him busy with studies, and he has
helped so many throughout the universe. As a
consequence, he has neglected the two women he loves
most. I am afraid that is more my failure than his."
"Please, tell him that I don't care about all
that," Beverly said. "All I care about is seeing my
son again. I need him! I feel so empty without him."
"Do you wish him to abandon his mission as my
prot‚g‚?" Robin could not tell if the Traveler was
upset or even offended. Was he willing to forfeit the
time he'd invested in training Wesley? She could not
tell, for he simply spoke the words as though
generating them randomly.
"I would never ask him to abandon his dreams. If
I did, he would begin to resent me. I'm not asking him
to change for me. I'd just like to see him every now
and then."
The Traveler turned toward Robin. "And you, Robin
Lefler." She was only momentarily surprised to hear
him call her by name. Of course, he knew who she was.
Undoubtedly, Wesley had shared much about her with his
mentor. "How do you feel about seeing Wesley again?"
"For a long time, I was very angry at him. I
didn't care if I ever saw or heard from him again," she
answered honestly. "Now, I'm not really sure how I
feel. I don't know how I'll react if and when I see
him. I just know that his mother is a very special
lady, and she deserves to be reunited with her son."
"You are generous with your personal sacrifice.
But you must consider what you want. Do not overlook
your own needs."
"Believe me," Robin said looking her visitor
straight in the eyes, "that question is uppermost on my
mind. I'm still not sure what I want. If Wesley was
to end his travels and ask me to renew our
relationship, I don't know how I'd react."
"Please!" Beverly interjected. "Robin, I
understand how and why you feel as you do, but I know
what I want. I ache to see him." She turned back
toward the Traveler. "Tell him that I don't care about
the past. I just want to see him and start over."
"I will," the Traveler said, bowing slightly. "I
must go now, but I will speak with Wesley and try to
convince him of his responsibility to you."
"Thank you," Beverly said as the Traveler started
to wink out of their plane of existence. She turned
toward Robin. "And thank you for being so unselfish."
Robin grasped the older woman's hand. "You're
certainly welcome. You deserve happiness, and I wish
you the best of luck with your son."
Beverly hugged the girl and as she pulled away,
said, "I should leave now. I've imposed on you long
enough."
"Take care of yourself."
"Only if you do the same."
After offering Beverly a nod, Robin led the doctor
to the door where they said a final goodbye.
*****
When she returned to the infirmary, Beverly
conferred with Michelle and studied Shannara's vitals
for even the slightest sign of any change in the girl's
condition. The little girl had not shown any
complications from the surgery, but neither was she
showing any sign of waking up.
Beverly began writing a report for Starfleet
Medical using her data padd, while she maintained a
vigil over the girl. The anesthesia was wearing off
and Worf and Deanna could see their daughter again
soon. We'll wait another hour, she decided. They need
time to collect themselves. They're certainly going to
draw on reserved strength over the next several days.
Her computer console beeped, indicating an
incoming call, and Beverly set down her padd to answer
it. She had sent a subspace transmission to the
Enterprise before going into surgery and hoped this was
now Captain Riker answering. She wasn't disappointed.
"Beverly, it was good to hear from you," Will
said. I hope anyway. How is Shannara doing?"
"She made it through the surgery okay. Now we can
only wait and pray she comes out of the coma."
"How are you doing otherwise?"
"I'm getting better. . .Jean-Luc is here."
"Really?" Riker had a smirk on his face. "I
presume our old captain is getting along well."
Now that brought a smirk to Beverly's face. "He's
not so old," she said cryptically, but Riker picked up
on the innuendo.
"Don't you think it's about time you two just
admitted what everyone else has known for years and get
yourselves married?"
"I wish it were that simple, but Jean-Luc is a
starship captain, and for now at least, I don't think I
could handle any traveling. I don't think either of us
is ready to compromise our positions."
"You're both a couple of rocks!"
"I don't see any ring on your finger."
"I think I'll leave you alone--for now," Riker
backed down. "You will notify me if there's any change
in Shannara's condition."
"Of course."
After being disconnected from the Enterprise,
Beverly returned to her data padd. She tried to finish
her report, but her thoughts kept drifting to
imaginings of what the Traveler might be saying to
Wesley. Was he encouraging Wesley to visit with his
mother? Or did the mentor feel threatened by the
prospect?
Beverly did not realize she had fallen asleep
until she was awaken by a sudden and drastic change in
her equilibrium. She didn't remember setting down the
data padd or dropping it, but it was no longer in her
hand. Opening her eyes, she discovered she was no
longer in the infirmary!
"Wesley," she called out, her son's name almost
sticking in her throat. "Are you doing this?"
A figure stepped forward, and Beverly strained to
see his face. "Mom," Wesley said. "I hope you don't
mind meeting me here."
"Mind?!" Beverly stared incredulously at her son.
"Where are we?"
"A plane between your reality and mine."
"Oh Wesley. . ." Hesitantly, she held her arms out
to him, unsure whether she could touch him or not.
"How are you, son?"
His tears said more than words as he stepped
forward and embraced his mother fiercely. They both
cried with joy on each other's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Mom," he said. "I should have been
there for you when the Akodians brought you back. At
the time, though, I thought I had good reasons for
keeping my distance. I was in the middle of a major
transition, and I thought I wasn't in a position to
help you through your turmoil."
"Just having you beside me would have been
enough.'
"I realize that now."
"Wesley, you're my son. I can forgive almost
anything of you. Just, please, please, promise me
you'll keep in touch from now on."
He nodded slowly. "I will be a better son."
"Just be the son you used to be."
He pulled away from her, turning his back. "You
can't expect me to regress to that young, inexperienced
boy. If you want him and only him, the man I've become
may disappoint you."
"Nonsense. You are my son, Wes, and no matter
what else happens between us, I love you
unconditionally."
"I believe you, Mom. I just hope you aren't
expecting anything I'm not prepared to offer."
"Wesley," Beverly said. She smiled nervously at
him. "Is it too much for a mother to ask her son to
visit her every once in a while?"
"No, but you must be honest with me--and with
yourself. I know that you are about to ask me for
something greater than just a visit every now and then.
You're worried about someone, and that's
understandable."
"Not just someone; Worf and Deanna's little girl!
You knew them. You worked for them during your stay on
the Enterprise. Certainly, you have some sympathy for
them. I've done all I can for her. I need to know if
your capable of doing more for her. Can you cure her?"
She waited for his answer. Was he actually refusing to
save a two-year old, someone who had not yet truly
experienced life? "Wesley. . ."
"I want you to see something," he said, holding
his hand out to her. As she took it into hers, she
felt a strange sensation wash over her entire being.
They shifted from plane to plane until the infirmary
shimmered into view.
Beverly was momentarily shocked to find herself
hovering above Worf, Deanna and Lwaxana, who were all
peering at Shannara. How long had she been away?
Beverly wondered. Dr. Selar must have given the family
clearance to stay with the girl. Beverly called out to
them, but they did not hear her. She imagined herself
as a ghost spying on the living, and the parallel to
the time before her regeneration made her shiver.
"We're in a plane halfway in between your reality
and a reality you haven't yet begun to understand. You
can observe them from here without disturbing them."
Beverly couldn't believe her own son was
suggesting such a thing! Had he been spying on her?
"Isn't that invading their privacy?" she demanded of
him.
"There is much you don't yet understand about
time, space, or the universal thought process. We must
know other's thoughts fully before we can begin to
attune with them."
"Are you saying that without Shannara's thoughts,
you can't cure her?"
"I'm saying that without thoughts, nothing is
possible."
As Beverly mused over her son's words, they
listened as Lwaxana sang a Betazed greeting song to her
granddaughter. "Wake up my little sweet, for every day
brings a new ray of sunshine. . ." The beautiful
lyrics brought tears to everyone's eyes.
Beverly turned back toward her son to see tears in
his eyes as well.
"Tell me, Wes, if you have the ability to save
her!" Beverly begged.
"I am sorry, Mom, but I cannot use my abilities to
save Shannara any more than Commander Riker could use
his powers of the Q to save a life. Why do you think
it is right for me to revive her now, if it was so
wrong for Riker back then?"
"I never told anyone, but I did not agree with the
Captain's decision not to help that girl. I wouldn't
be here now myself if the Akodians lived by such a
philosophy! Dammit! I'm a doctor. I'm supposed to
want to see lives saved." She turned back to the
Rozhenkos and added with determination, "that girl was
already dead. Shannara is still alive. But she may
not be for long if you don't act quickly."
When she again looked away from her patient's
family, she discovered that Wesley was no longer there.
Had she alienated him from her forever? "Damn my
morals!" she uttered. No, she decided. I have to
stand up for what I believe in no matter the cost.
Shannara Rozhenko deserves to live!
Beverly felt the now-familiar tug of her body
being moved from plane to plane. When she stopped
moving, she realized she was laying in her bed wearing
her nightgown and that it was almost six hundred hours.
Had her body been asleep while her mind traveled?
*****
Upon leaving his mother abruptly, Wesley went to
the Traveler and asked his mentor for advice.
"You must do what is in your heart," the Traveler
replied. "Do not bless the little girl with renewed
life because you feel sorry for her family. Do it
because it's--"
"--the right thing to do," Wesley chimed in. "How
will I know that saving Shannara Rozhenko is the right
thing? I mean, how am I supposed to know every
intricate detail of God's master plan for the
universe?"
"You must search deep within yourself and without.
Let your mind and the universe become one. It should
all be elementary to you by now, my son. Do not allow
this case to cloud your judgment simply because you
know those involved. Free your mind and your body and
the answers you need will come to you."
Wesley sighed, feeling more Human than he had in a
long time. "There's someone I'd like to see while I'm
thinking about this," he said. "Is that all right?"
"You wish to see Robin Lefler, the young lady you
were once engaged to marry. That is understandable. I
would advice that you be gentle. Don't expect too much
from her."
Hadn't he just admonished his mother in the same
way? "I'm not sure I expect anything."
"Above all else, be honest with yourself."
Wesley nodded musedly. The Traveler always spoke
in deep truths, challenging Wesley to peel away the
layers of each statement before he could fully
understand everything his mentor advised him. "I owe
her an apology--as if that could ever be enough."
"May light speed go with you, my friend," the
Traveler said. It was his way of wishing Wesley luck.
"Thank you."
Wesley popped out of that plane and reappeared on
Starbase 217 only meters from Robin's quarters. Once,
he had found it easy to speak with her. Now he didn't
know where to begin.
With the first step, he realized and headed toward
her door. He pressed her annunciator and when she
answered, they stared, dumbfounded, at one another for
a long moment. Wesley swore that he could almost sense
that special connection that had sparked their
friendship.
Without a word, she stepped aside to let him
enter.
