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Over the next few weeks, I try to maintain a semblance of normalcy. I pretend that the fiasco at Market Day never happened and at moments, I almost convince myself. When Grandma throws me a birthday party, I try to enjoy myself and mingle with my guests. Although I've gotten to know each of them fairly well, I still find it difficult to interact with the other students of All Souls. I manage to make it through my party without committing any social digressions.

A birthday present from my parents arrives on a freighter and when an ensign delivers it to me, Grandma insists that I message my parents to thank them before I even have a chance to open it. "You owe them," she tells me. "They deserve to know you're all right." Although she is pretending very hard, I know Grandma has had regular communications with Mother. They know no harm has come to me and that I have not resigned my membership inside the Continuum.

"Maybe I will contact them soon," I tell her, graciously accepting the package. "But not today. Not on my birthday in front of all my guests." Unwrapping the package, I find a casual jumpsuit inside. It has purple and pink flowers and multiple pockets. "It's beautiful. Tell Mother 'thank you' for me." I walk away from Grandma and go upstairs to my room to try on the outfit.

Now I'm fourteen years old. Once, I found my birthday exciting, but I realize I will have countless more and they will no doubt become as trivial as any other day of my life. Perhaps if I could ever figure out what I wanted, I wouldn't feel like such a nobody.

Three weeks have passed since Market Day and I have not encountered another Q since. They are watching. While I do not feel them, nor sense them, I know they are watching my every move. Which one will show up next? Will a Q I already know show up to taunt me further? Or will another Q introduce himself to tempt me with his faction?

I ponder this meddlesome riddle every day as I tend to my garden and try to enjoy the warmth of the Betazoid sun and the freshness of the summer breeze. I pick an assortment of flowers each day to replace the ones in the dining room. I imagine each flower is speaking to me. Each flower is a faction, each petal a Q. I pick fresh fruits and vegetables for dinner and imagine similar fantasies. Even though they've left me alone for a while, I cannot rid myself of the Q. They are a part of me.

"How mundane," someone says close by the garden. I nearly drop my basket and spill the uttaberries, surprised by the sudden intrusion. Without turning around, I know who has finally called upon me after all these weeks and I must admit that I'm relieved to finally have the waiting over.

"Q," I say, turning around, "it's about time you showed up again. I was beginning to think you'd stopped caring whether I lived or died."

"I will never stop caring for you," Red says. As she steps closer to me, I realize how much I've recently come to think of her as my guardian rather than Q. I wonder if jealousy would force him to return. "It's in our nature to care whether we deny it or not."

While I acknowledge Q's use of the inclusive 'our,' I doubt very much that all Q have a natural inclination to care for others. Perhaps, she is referring only to certain members or factions. "Q from Faction 125 cared for me," I say. "I think he even saved my life."

"You are correct. We have an affable relationship with his faction. However, they have no vision. They would never attempt to realign the Continuum and for that, they are weak. I can see you're still undecided about whether to join us or him," Red says.

"Or another," I clarify.

"Acknowledge. One thing is certain, we cannot have you settling for this archaic existence, living as a mortal." She folds her arms and appears as though contemplating telling me something. "Have you heard of the term 'lost Q?'"

I frown, pondering this seemingly contradictory puzzle. How can a being capable of going anywhere with a snap of his fingers ever be lost? "No. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Let me introduce you to a few of them. Hopefully, they will help you understand why you have no time to waste." With a Q-flash, she takes me deep within the Continuum. "Can you see them? These are the Q who have spent millennia searching for a home."

The place she has taken me to is dark and musty. I squint my eyes to make out anyone or anything. Slowly, they come into focus. Some are leaning against walls. Others are sitting on the floor, hugging their knees or tracing abstract drawings in the dirt flooring.. I sense that none of them are happy. Many want to leave this place, but they are unsure where to go. "Where is this place?" I ask. Although my voice carries throughout the cavern, none of its residence looks in my direction or acknowledges my arrival in any way.

"This is a way station of sorts," she explains. "This is one of the places Q go if they are unable to decide their position in the Continuum. They have been pondering which faction to join for millennia. Most will probably never make up their minds. Can't you see why now it is so important that you choose? You risk becoming a useless wayfarer with no rhyme nor reason. You must choose a cause and put all of your being into it."

I nod half-absentmindedly as I take a step toward a couple Q leaning against the wall. "How long have you been here?" I ask of them.

"Oh, a day, a week, a millennium. What difference does it make anymore?" one of them responds with a total lack of enthusiasm. He does not look me in the eye and I sense it is because he feels life is no longer worth the effort.

I glance at his companion. "Please, tell me you disagree. There is a purpose to be found."

She bows her head, hiding her face with her hair and offers no verbal response.

I turn back around to gaze at Red. She shrugs, thinking an I-told-you-so. "This has become their way. I hope they frighten you. If they don't, it frightens me to think you may become one of them."

I fix Red incredulously "You care for me?" I question. "Give me one reason I should believe you."

"Because Q cares for you and that's enough for me. He believes you're the prodigy Q, that you're the one who will bring order to chaos. That will only happen if you cooperate."

"Your Continuum has been divided by factions for millions of years. Why can't I be allowed a few years to make my decision?"

"Have you not learned anything from these Q?" She waves her arms around to encompass all the inert beings. "If you continue this game, it won't be long before you end up like one of them."

I fold my arms in defiance. Whether I a Q or not, I have always been a stubborn being. She will have to do more to convince me.

"I can see I need to take more drastic measures with you. Let me introduce you to Q. maybe her mad ravings will frighten you into acknowledging the urgency of you situation."

I roll my eyes. Since when is time so relevant to a Q?" If you insist, I'll play your game, not like I have anything better to do" The next Q flash takes us further into the Abyss. Our surroundings brighten to an almost blinding degree. As I blink several times to adjust to the lighting, I almost miss the figure moving rapidly toward us. "Stop!" I exclaim, raising my arms to grab hers.

"You are not welcome here, " She spits at me. "Go away or I will hurdle you inside a penalty."

"You haven't the energy left to perform such a tactic," Red says calmly.

"You again." This crazy, lost Q wiggles free of my grasp to face Red. "Why are you always invading my space?"

"Come now, Q. It's been more than a millennium since I last payed you a visit. You should be delighted to finally have some company."

"I don't like you! I don't like any of you! I want to be left alone." She raises her hand to send us somewhere in her Q flash. I Probe her mind quickly to uncover her intentions in case her attempt is successful. My fear is pointless, however, because Red reacts swiftly hurdling this crazy Q across the room. She envelopes us in her own Q flash and sends us to one of the white rooms.

"Have you seen enough yet?" Red asks me. She clicks her fingers and produces a paper and pen, which she offers me. "This is a formal contract pledging your allegiance to Faction 1687. If you sign it now, everyone of our members will become your loyal companion. They will defend you against your enemies and help you make a name for yourself in the Continuum. They will never betray you."

"Will they come when I call on them?" I ask. She flinches slightly. She knows I am referring to Q, my guardian angel, who seems nowhere to be found.

"He is a busy Q. you must be patient. When the time is right, he will call on *you*."

"Then at that time, maybe I'll decide to join your faction. But not today."

"Fine," she snaps. "But you'll remain a nobody until you do." She throws her paper and it disappears. "And you will find your own way out of here." she disappears in a Q flash, leaving me alone.

For a split second, I wonder if this white room will become my asylum. I am mentally stable, I think. I won't be a nobody determined to spend eternity alone as Q has chosen. With that vow firmly affixed in my mind, I flash back into my bedroom inside Grandma's house.

"I wish I could have a week without thinking like or about a Q," I say to myself. "Even a day to just sit around and read a good book would be nice." With that thought, I go to my desk to activate my personal console.

I'm surprised to find I have an incoming message. Have my parents decided to forgive me? What will I do if they plead with me to return home to the Enterprise? This fear is a good part of the reason I've been reluctant to contact them. I was never happy on board a starship. If I deny their request, they may never recover from the dishonor, but if I return, I will become even more miserable than before. I tease my finger across the receive button, not sure I am ready to see my parent's faces again. I'll have to view the message sooner or later I tell myself. I might as well get it over with. I'm surprised, the message is not from my parents.

"Hello, Shannara Rozhenko," Jaibe says on the video.

His friend laughs. "Remember us?" Koradi asks. "We're your friendly neighborhood bullies."

Jaibe takes up the talking again. "We'd like to invite you on a picnic in the woods. How about Jannaran Falls? It's so romantic."

I nearly stop the message and delete it, but instinct tells me to play it through to the end. I would like to understand how they took advantage of me so easily before and hopefully in learning such, find a way to seek retaliation.. I'm a Q. I should be able to turn the tables on them tenfold.

"We thoroughly enjoyed our lunch date with you," Koradi continues. "And we certainly don't mind providing dinner."

Jaibe moves in closer blocking his partners view, "so just bring your pretty little self." both boys break out into gales of laughter. "Oh, mustn't forget to set a day at time. Sunday evening at eighteen hundred hours. See you there!"

The video goes blank and I chew at my lower lip, contemplating what possible motive they have for wanting to target me. We hadn't met before Market Day and I can think of no reason why they would hold a grudge against me. Could this be an attack against Grandma? People in high political standing often face disgruntled constituents. If this is the case here, why have these boys barely acknowledged that Lwaxana Troi is my Grandma?

No, they must be targeting me for another reason.

"Shannara, is that you?" Grandma asks as my door slides open to admit her into my room. "Where have you been? I thought one of them evil Q from Faction 17 snatched you. It's been five days since you disappeared."

"Five days!" I am flabbergasted. In the Continuum it had seemed like no more than an hour. I'd noticed time displacements in the past, but never this severe. "I'm sorry, Grandma. It's easy to lose time in the Continuum." As I'm explaining myself to her, I recall Red's words of warning. Had she been aware of how much time was slipping by us while we associated with the lost Q? Perhaps then, my position had been truly cavalier.

Grandma reaches out to grasp my hand. "Come darling. Let's sit on your bed so you can tell me all about it." She no longer seems frightened, but quite intrigued to hear about my experience. Mother would never have been this receptive.

But how can I tell her everything! I think as I allow her to lead me over to my bed. Is she really prepared to hear about the catatonic Q? How would she react to the recounting of my visit to a deranged Q who would rather spend eternity alone with no stimuli rather than face the challenge of finding some meaning to her unexceptional existence. I tell Grandma all of this, barely pausing for breath, for fear if I do, I will never finish. To her strength, Grandma listens with few interruptions. Further and further into my discourse, I find myself more and more willing to open up to her. Never have I been able to speak this freely with either of my parents. "I don't believe she could have done me any harm," I conclude about the crazy lost Q. "I sensed that she intended no harm upon others. Only that she wished to be left alone, undisturbed, forever."

"Undisturbed?" Grandma comments sarcastically, actually able to smile after what she's just heard..

I chuckle at the contradiction. "There's one other thing I need to tell you. When I returned, I found a message waiting for me. It was from someone I met at Market Day. You wanted to know what caused my telepathic overload and at the time, I was convinced that the best thing was to forget the entire incident. Now, I'm not so sure it's over."

I get up from my bed and walk over to my desk to replay the message for Grandma. Her look changes from curiosity to shock as she realizes what these boys did to me and their further plans. "We must turn this message over to the authorities," she says. "They've committed a federal offense."

"They are only minors," I remind her. "The authorities would only give them a slap on the wrist. I could exact a better revenge."

"You're not going to meet with them!" Although she means it as an order, she fears what I am capable of doing.

"Grandma, it's the only way justice can be served for them. I am a Q. Now that I am aware of what they're up to, they will not take me by surprise again." Why am I so certain of this? I wonder and quickly suppress my fears. "No, this time, it is they who will be surprised when they learn of my superior powers." I allow my expression to soften. "Until then, we will behave as though all is normal. When is the next assembly at All Souls?"

"In about two hours," she replies, perturbed by my sudden change in subject. "You've missed the last two meetings already. I had to tell Robiayre that you were ill."

"Then when I arrive to this afternoon's meeting, I'll tell him I've recovered from the Tarkilian flu."

*****

I walk into All Souls with trepidation. After all that has happened to me in the past several weeks, I feel uncertain who to trust. What if another Q from Faction 17 tries to disguise himself as a mortal. I must remain alert to the possibility.

*Good evening, Shannara,* Jonnaih thinks at me as I enter the library. *Glad you are feeling better.* Although he didn't like me much on our first encounter, he has slowly warmed up to me. His use of telepathy reassures me that Q has not chosen to take on Jonnaih's guise again.

I sit down at the table along with the others and shielding any guilt, I quickly convince Robiayre of my supposed illness. When he diverts his attention to others in the group, I relax inwardly. I'm determined to enjoy today's session, despite my fears.

Our telepathic conversation drifts into a philosophical discussion as we consider the evolution of Betazoid. When had our kind first become sentient? And when had we begun developing telepathic abilities? I listen to each student as he or she provides input and I counter with my own discourse. My attention is divided, however, as I eliminate the students who have used their telepathic ability and increase my concentration toward those who haven't. I grow more suspicious of them with each passing moment.

*Shannara, what has you so worried?* Robiayre asks.

*Renee and Shari haven't been participating with this discussion. I'd like to know what they think. They have to have an opinion.*

*I believe we developed telepathy before we even developed the written language,* Renee thinks to the group. *Documented written papers came relatively late to our culture when compared to other cultures.*

I sigh with relief and Robiayre eyes me curiously. *What did you expect to hear from her?* he demands of me.

*I wasn't sure she was capable of telepathy.* The group stares at me dumbfoundedly and I begin to feel ridiculous. I can't go through my life suspecting everyone! *I'm sorry. It's only that I've had Q play tricks on me before and the only way I know to flesh them out is to test whether people have any telepathic abilities.*

*I'm really Shari!* the girl exclaims with affront. *I just don't know what to contribute to the discussion. I'm not sure what I believe.*

I lower my gaze to the table in shame. I feel like an abomination to the group. I'm tainting their spiritual well-being. *Maybe I should leave the group. Even if I'm placing none of you in danger, at the least I'm disrupting the natural flow of your spiritual and telepathic growth.*

*That's a good idea,* Robiayre thinks at me. I didn't expect him to agree so readily! *Normally, I would recommend that a student allow themselves six months to decide whether a spiritual discipline is right for him or her, but you obviously have already chosen another way of life. We wish you well.*

"Very well. I won't waste any more of your time." I stand up and scoot my chair back under the table.

Tobiuse also stands and for a moment, I believe she is going to defend me. "I will see her out the door," she says, finalizing my severing from the group. She walks around the table and grabs my arm to quickly lead me out of the library. As we pass the threshold, she tells me, "You were right to be suspicious of everyone. You must eliminate the enemy."

I wiggle free of her grasp and back up several meters. "You're not using telepathy!" I say and chastise myself for not scrutinizing the teachers. "Who are you? What do you want from me?"

Tobiuse's image shimmers out of existence to be replaced by Red. "Fortunately for you, I am not your enemy. You must maintain a high level of caution. Your enemies are always watching you and without a faction, you are an easy target."

"How could you guarantee my safety even if I joined your faction? According to the data padd you supplied me with, Faction 17 has been responsible for the extinction of several factions. You fear for your own safety. I sense that instinctively in you." I turn away from her and step outside the building. I walk in no particular direction, not caring if Q is following me or not. I study my surroundings as I immerse myself with nature. The leaves are changing to bright red, orange, and yellow and those already fallen crunch underneath my feet. Birds sing to one another in the tree branches. Whistling sweetly, I join their melody. If I could only live in their world, without any worries or decisions to make, I would be content with such a simple life.

I stop. I look down and back up again. Spreading my fingers, I turn my hands palm upwards, examining them to make sure I hadn't wished for wings too hard. Who am I kidding? I would have to forfeit my intelligence and my powers. I probably wouldn't even be self-aware any longer. I could never be happy in a lesser existence.

"Why did you stop?" Q asks, coming up from behind me. "Do you sense Q nearby?"

Startled, I whirl around to face her. "So you were following me," I say. It does not come out sounding like the accusation I intended. I almost laugh out loud. "Are you my guardian angel now?"

"If it makes you feel better to think of me in that way, then I will accept that title. You must heed my warnings and learn how to protect yourself."

"Why don't you work some of your magic on me?" I do a mock dance and click my fingers together three times. "You can send me to some far off place where Q will never find me. I'll be safe, then, but what good would I be to you? If I'm to become this great political leader who helps bring alliance among the factions, then I cannot be cowering in some rubber room like Q. I have to remain in the open."

Q nods. "Yes, of course. You're right." She grabs me firmly by the arms and twirls me around. "But look!" I survey the area more thoroughly than before. Could Q be disguising himself as a bird? Or even one of the branches on a tree? "You didn't answer whether you sense Q or not. Do you see anything unusual?"

"No, I honestly don't."

She releases her grip on me. "Neither do I. But you must never let your guard down as I proved today during your meeting."

"I promise." I glance once again at the nearest bird as it takes flight. Just a bird. Then I snap my fingers and return to my bedroom.

"My, my, you really have grown," Q says sitting up in my bed.

"Q!" I exclaim, unable to contain my excitement. "It really is you!" I run up to him and give him a hug.

"While I find your sentimentality quite touching," he says, pulling away to look me in the eyes. "We're wasting precious time. We have a battle to wage. Arm your weapons, man your battle stations." He smiles broadly. "This will be Q's biggest stand and Q's greatest defeat! Join me. Join *us*. Together, you and I could implement changes Q have only dreamed of before."