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Manipulating Starfleet isn't as easy as my parents, so I leave that task up to Captain Picard. After two weeks of negotiating, they agree to allow a small crew to escort me on a runabout into Akodian space. Data is placed in command, while Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher accompany us as observers. A friend of Mother's, Lt. Clausen, will be watching Eric while we are away. They do not want to endanger him unnecessarily, and I can't help it, but I am relieved about leaving my little brother behind.
As part of the alliance agreement, the Akodians insist that we not use any pocket wormholes on our way. They provide us with coordinates to a wormhole that leads to their homeworld. Once we arrive, we are instructed to halt by the wormhole where they will send a crew to rendezvous with us. The trip to this wormhole will take over a month. The trip back, with access to other pocket wormholes, only six days.
Mother walks me to my temporary bedroom and I slip inside. Sam and Al are already here on top of the dresser and seem unperturbed by the change in scenery. I hope I am able to adjust as easily. Walking up to them, I check to see that they have enough water. They won't be fed until Data can help me set up the maze again. Hopefully, the delay will not throw them too much off schedule.
I begin to settle into my room, putting all my clothes away. In the bottom of my away bag, I have packed a couple of toys. I pull out a stuffed dog, now a bit ragged and coming apart at the seams, but still a favorite of mine. It was a gift from Captain Riker years ago and it has always given me comfort. I take the toy over to the bed and sit down on the edge next to the wall. My parents are in the room beside mine, and I can barely make out what they are saying, but I am determined to find out whether my father will forgive me.
"If Q continues to pop in and out of our daughter's life, how can we prevent her from holding the Continuum over our heads?" Father asks. "Do we want to live with the constant threat of her running off with Q?"
"She is feeling guilty," Mother replies.
Of course I am! Petting nervously at my dog, I pretend that it is the one upset, the one waiting for reassurance. He must forgive me. Otherwise, we're as good as caught in a warp core.
"But she meant it, Worf. For that reason and many old ones, I do agree with you; we need to coax her away from holding Q over our heads. I believe it would be in everyone's best interest to support Shannara this time. Sometimes parents need to give in to their children's wishes to offer some balance in their relationship."
"This is a little much for balancing! Are we to simply bow to her and allow our roles to reverse?"
"Of course not. I don't think that's even what she wants. Nonetheless, I've been rethinking about this evaluation. Shannara is not afraid of meeting the Akodians."
I'm not afraid of some aliens I've never met.....but I am afraid of being rejected by my father. I remove the pillow from underneath the blanket and lie against it, holding my dog against my cheek.
"Maybe she is stronger than either of us have admitted. How do we know this won't be a positive experience for her? She's adjusted well to her prematurely developed mental abilities, despite having no real exposure to Betazed."
"Deanna...." I sense much doubt in Father. "Are you now forgetting how you reacted to the Akodians?"
"No, of course not!"
I wonder why my mother is so frightened by them. I have always thought her to be a strong, intelligent woman. If Captain Picard says the Akodians can be trusted, then we have nothing to worry about. He is a man of great experience and would never misguide his crew or his friends. Wouldn't it be wonderful to serve under a captain like him someday?
"Then why do you believe they will be harmless to Shannara?"
Because Captain Picard trusts them! I think.
"As much as we despise Q, I believe his affection for her is real." Q! Don't they know I don't return Q's affection? "He would not encourage this meeting if he didn't believe it would prove beneficial for her."
Holding my breath, I wait for Father's reply. Will he give in and accept my wishes? I want so much to prove to him that I am not weak or vulnerable. "I love you, not Q," I mumble. "You...I love you."
"Please, don't stay angry with her, Worf. She's our daughter."
"And when will you end your grudge against Alexander?"
Why is Father bringing up the feud between Mother and Alexander now? Recently, Alexander sent us a subspace message letting us know that he and Rosa had gotten married. Father was not pleased to have missed out on the ceremony, but was nonetheless honored to accept Rosa into the family. Mother, on the other hand, still blamed Rosa for an accident five years ago that nearly killed me. I honestly don't know how I feel toward either of them right now. But why bring it up now if only to anger Mother?
"You know I'm trying. But, Worf, that's not the issue here. Alexander is an adult capable of making his decisions independently. Shannara needs our guidance and loyalty. Most of all she needs to be reassured of our love during this stressful journey."
"She has my love....always."
"Don't you think you should tell her that?"
I do not hear my father reply. If he truly loves me, why doesn't he want to speak with me? I am suddenly startled as my door swishes open, and Father appears.
He does not speak, but his face is filled with compassion. Tossing my stuff dog aside, I slide off my bed and rush toward him. I rush into his arms, crying onto his shoulder as he scoops me up. "I'm sorry, Daddy."
"It is all right," he assures me. "No matter how much we disagree, or how much we fight....remember, I will always love you."
For a moment, I believe I could remain in of my Father's arms forever. Then fleetingly this desire vanishes as need to prove my independence reasserts itself. I lift my head to peer at Father. I had not realized he is crying, too! Maybe crying isn't a sign of weakness, I think as I slide down, placing my hand into his. It may be a sign of imperfection, but in my father it is endearing.
Our moment of understanding is interrupted by Data's arrival. "My apologies," the android says. "But it is time for our departure, and Captain Riker wishes to offer his farewell."
"Come, Shannara," Father says. "This send off is for you."
Proudly, I follow Data and Father onto the small bridge of the runabout. Father steps up to a console in the rear, while Data walks to the center. I follow my mentor, gazing almost hypnotically at the huge viewscreen, which is showing us the bridge of the Enterprise-E.
"I want to wish all of you good luck on your journey," Captain Riker says on the large viewscreen. He is sitting at his command chair. Lt. Commander Berlitz is at his side. She is acting as his first officer in Data's and Father's absence.
"Thank you, Captain," Data responds.
Nodding, Riker continues, "This will become a moment in history." He turns toward me and smiles. "Shannara, you won't be forgotten in the decades to come. You'll become known as the girl who bridged the gap between the Alpha Quadrant and the rest of the galaxy--maybe even the universe. Pretty impressive shoes you're wearing."
I glance momentarily at my shoes until it dawns on me what he means. All I expected, all I ever wanted is for Father to be proud of me. I've never considered the rest of the galaxy. How will people treat me if I'm to become this super girl?
I glance around the room at each of the adults. Captain Picard is well known throughout Starfleet for his heroic command of the previous Enterprise. Without Dr. Crusher's genius, I wouldn't even be alive today. My mentor, friend, and confidant Commander Data is the only android in Starfleet. His strength, speed, and flawless memory have proven to be assets on numerous missions. Then I look toward my parents, whom I have idolized all my life. I have never thought of myself as being as great as them. I am only a small child. How could my voice possibly be heard by countless billions?
"Have a safe journey, and I expect details upon your return. Worf, don't be too hard on her. She's a brave girl....would make any warrior proud."
I look back to gauge Father's reaction. He returns my stare and with a nod, says, "very proud."
"Glad to hear it. Riker out."
"Shannara," Data says, "would you care to watch as we leave the docking bay?"
"Oh yes!" I have never been allowed on a bridge before and am thrilled by this unexpected opportunity.
Leaning to speak softly to the ensign at the conn, Data convinces the young man to briefly abandon his post. Data gestures for me to sit down at the helm, while he takes the seat beside me.
"Enterprise, Runabout Huron is ready for departure," the android says. A moment later, the shuttlebay doors open. Quickly, Data presses a sequence of buttons and the runabout lifts slightly and slowly glides out into space.
Somehow the stars seem different on the big viewscreen. I feel as if they are alive. As the Huron picks up speed and the Enterprise becomes a blot on the screen and then disappears, I wonder what my journey will bring and am eager to see what is out there.
"If we are able to maintain current speed," Data says, "it will take us nearly a month to reach the pocket wormhole that will take us to Akodian space. During that time, your lessons will consist of information about the regions we pass."
I study several planets and their cultures over the next few weeks. I find Vulcan history the most fascinating, because they are so different from Klingons. Their homeworld is made up of mostly dry desert land with daily temperatures rising to well over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit. The Vulcans wear hooded cloaks to keep the sun out of their faces. Data tells me that they are the oldest members of the Federation and had formed an alliance with Earth in 2063 when Zephram Cochrane made his famous warp flight.
I wonder if our alliance with the Akodians will prove as monumental as that first alliance which brought exploration throughout the Alpha Quadrant. On the third week of our journey, I ask Captain Picard for his opinion.
"How much Earth history are you familiar with?" he asks me.
"I've studied a little about their earlier explorations outside the Sol System," I reply. "I'm afraid I'm more familiar with Klingon history."
"That's not surprising. I'm sure the majority of your bedtime stories have centered on Klingon legends."
I nod. "And Data has taught me more science and math than history. I really would like to know more about how it all began."
The captain smiles inwardly. I have a feeling that Earth history is a particular favorite of his. "Exploration....the thrill of seeking out the unknown has always played an important role in Earth history. Did you know that people of Earth once believed their world was flat?"
I laugh at the absurdity. "No!"
"Oh yes. There are actually several cultures which believed this about their world. Fortunately, there were enough brave men who take their chances and ventured further out to sea. On Earth, that man's name was Christopher Columbus. On his journey, he discovered a new continent rich with new cultures."
"That must have been just as exciting for them as discovering new planets is for us."
"Oh yes. A discovery, no matter how great or small, reaps its own reward."
"This isn't small; it's big....very, very big."
Picard chuckles. "Indeed, it is."
Sensing someone else in the room, I turn to see Mother standing in the doorway. She has a slight smile on her face, but inside she is not as eager for this exploration as the captain.
"Shannara, it's dinnertime," she says, ushering me toward her. Why is she so anxious to end my conversation with Picard? She must not want him to encourage me. I glance back at the captain to receive a wink from him. He understands. I gain some comfort in that knowledge.
As we are nearing our destination, I learn more about the pocket wormhole from Dr. Crusher. She is hesitant to tell me her entire experience with the Akodians. Although she does not come right out and tell me this, I somehow know. There is still a level of fear underneath all the awe and excitement the doctor feels for this phenomena.
"It starts with this barely visible hole in space," she begins. "But as you draw nearer, it expands as though your ship is air filling up a balloon. Gliding gently through the wormhole, any ship can reach the other side in a matter of seconds."
"And what's on the other side?"
"It depends on which pocket you travel through. Each one leads to different points in the galaxy."
"Will I get to see the Akodian homeworld?"
"I don't know, dear. They were not specific as to how or where your evaluation will be conducted. I can tell you that with Captain Picard and myself, they observed our reaction as we traveled through one of the pockets."
I don't understand why Mother is so frightened of something that can increase both the Federation's knowledge and its power. Once I prove to her that I am safe around the Akodians, hopefully, she will begin to share a bit of the excitement surrounding her. Or am I being overly optimistic? Mother had no control over her depression. How will I feel when this journey reaches its end? I almost wish Q were here now to offer his reassurance that I've made the correct decision.
"Did they think it would upset you?"
"They thought it might."
"Why?"
I look toward her expectantly and see tears brimming the corners of her eyes. If an evaluation from the Akodians can upset an important doctor like her, why am I still not afraid?
"You really should ask your parents that question. They should decide whether or not you should be told."
I nod before walking away. Returning to my room under the pretense of checking on Sam and Al, I consider my options. I could forget about ever learning the entire story. Can I accept that? Can I simply plunge forward into the unknown? That's what being an explorer is all about. Right?
Ordering water from the replicator, I refill the mices' water bottle. I watch as they thirstily fight over it.
I could demand to be told, present my parents with another ultimatum. Do I have it in me? I hope not! Scratch that idea. The last thing I want is to put any of us in that awkward situation again.
If only Q were here, I think. As mettlesome as he is, why hasn't he popped in during this trip? He had been so enthusiastic about my accepting this turning point, as he put it, that I assumed he would be here to witness it. Maybe he is waiting until the moment we reach the pocket wormhole, during which, he will make his grand entrance. After all, nothing significant has happened yet.
My best option, I realize, is to accept whatever information my parents are willing to share with me. I'll ask them over dinner. That decided, I remove Sam and Al from their cage and place them in the maze, ready to begin today's observation.
"What did the pocket wormhole do to Dr. Crusher?" I ask, finally working up the courage halfway through our meal.
Mother nearly chokes on the mouthful of noodles. Father clutches at his napkin. I cross my arms across my chest, determined to wait this out until they are ready to share whatever they are willing. They look at each other as though silently debating how to approach this delicate subject. After several seconds, Father nods, signaling to Mother.
"For a long time, we thought Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard had died because of one of the wormholes," she says. "The Akodians felt guilty about it and helped us rescue them and the entire Stargazer crew."
"Why did you think they were dead? Where were they?"
Mother pushes her plate away and almost inaudibly says, "I never wanted her to go through this." Raising her voice, she continues. "How can a seven-year old understand the concept of regeneration when I am unable to grasp it myself?"
"We can no longer afford the luxury of shielding her," Father counters. "Deanna, our daughter needs to be told about the Akodians and their technologies before she faces them.
Slowly, Mother nods and turns toward me. "We thought they were dead, because they were."
For a long time, I remain silent, mesmerized by the story as it unfolds. An Akodian pocket wormhole had imploded the Stargazer, killing more than one thousand Starfleet officers and their families. The Enterprise had spent months trying to understand the nature of the wormholes and to unlock the mystery of the accident. During that time, I had been born. When contact with the Akodians had been established, Enterprise crewmembers, including Data and my father, learned of regeneration....the ability to return accident victims to the living! Somehow, they managed to convince the Akodians that the Stargazer crew was worth saving.
I'm glad. Dr. Crusher later saved my life.
And she and her husband are really nice people.
That night, as I try to get to sleep, I imagine what the pocket wormhole would look like....purple swirls with a tiny hole in its center. In my mind, I see the Huron as it draws nearer and the pocket expands around it. Will it continue to grow, letting us inside Akodian space? Or will it deflate and crush us?
I don't like the thought of being regenerated!
After I am in bed, mother steps into my room to say goodnight. I sense she is concerned about how I'm handling the knowledge of the Picard's regeneration. "I'm not scared," I tell her. It sounds stupid. She senses my emotions and knows I am no longer as at ease about my imminent encounter with the Akodians and their wormholes. "It'll be as safe as any other shuttle ride."
"Yes," she agrees, taking my hand into hers. "You are perfectly safe, so I want you to forget all abut regeneration and have sweet dreams."
"I'll dream of chocolate sundaes and hot cocoa."
Mother smiles. "Ooh, I'll join you."
Despite my conviction, my sleep is filled with recurring images, some where the Huron successfully reaches Akodian space, and others bringing on a spectacular implosion. I try to wake myself up, but cannot. I scream, yet I cannot hear my voice over the violence.
"Shannara!" I hear my mother exclaim and suddenly, I am fully awake. "Computer, lights fifty percent." She kneels down to me and I wrap my arms around her, my sweaty body clinging to hers. "This is why I did not want to tell you. I wanted to keep you safe....on the Enterprise."
Pulling away from her, I glance at the tiny viewwindow. "We've arrived." It is not a question. I can sense the wormhole, and now understand what Mother went through all those years ago. I slip out of bed and approach the window.
"Shannara?" Mother stands, but she does not close the gap between us. Maybe she understands my need for a little distance at this moment.
"It's okay," I say, determined to face my fears. "I'm strong, Mother. It won't harm me." So why am I still sweating and finding it hard to breathe?
After a long silence, she informs me, "We're needed on the bridge. You need to take a quick shower an dress. An Akodian medical ship is waiting for you to be transported over." She reaches a hand out for me, her eyes telling me that she will not be making the remainder of the journey with me.
Stepping forward, I grasp her hand.
Everyone is on the bridge to greet me and to wish me well. "I will care for Sam and Al during your absence," Data promises. "The Akodians are good people. Do not be afraid of them."
I nod. Turning toward my father, who is standing beside the tactical console, I wonder if he considers the Akodians to be good people. After all, they are about to whisk his daughter away for evaluations of their choosing.
"You will make me proud," he says.
"That would be my honor."
"The Akodian ship is hailing us," Ensign Kavok says.
"On screen," Data orders and in the next moment we are staring at an alien woman with long brown hair pulled back into one of the oddest styles I have ever seen. Although not as pronounced as Klingons, her forehead is ridged, and I take some comfort in noticing that.
"It is good to see you again, Medic Parkin," Captain Picard says, stepping forward.
"Greetings!" Parkin responds. "Is this the girl?"
"Shannara," Father corrects as he steps around tactical to stand directly behind me. "She is my daughter."
"Then I will speak to you directly, Commander Worf. I have been instructed by my superiors that I must receive your verbal consent of this evaluation before transporting your daughter, Shannara, over to my ship."
I tilt my head sideways to peer up at my father, counting every second of his hesitation. The entire bridge is consumed with intense emotions.
"You have my consent."
