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During the next several months, members of the Continuum pay me a visit from time to time. Some Q show up trying to interfere with my probation, while others entice me to travel to other universes and to stop deceiving myself into believing I can be happy in a mortal's existence.

"Aren't you bored?" one asks of me. "You could do so much better than this. Severe the parental attachment and branch out on your own."

"Don't pretend your concerned for me or that you even like me," I spit at him.

"Fine. Whatever. We're not all bad, you know. Otherwise, why did you bother joining?" He pops out before I can offer a rebuttal.

More than a time or two, I consider telling my parents. Whether I feel the need to disclose out of fear or respect, I'm not sure. Both, I suppose. I don't pop into the Continuum very often, but worry that one day my parents will learn what I'm up to. Would they react any better if I told them?

Then I feel guilty for wanting more than they can offer me. Why not relinquish my Continuum membership. Usually when I am thinking this way, my Q shows up to bestow the virtues of being a Q. "Shannara, you've said so often that you're tired of living on this starship," he reminds me. "Yet, here you are, still unable to cut the proverbial umbilical cord."

"I love my parents!"

"Then why are you still lying to them? Tell them you've become more than the sum of their mortal selves. It's what every parent wants for their child. Please don't tell me you're still afraid of that micro father of yours. You're capable of so much more than he is.

"Stop calling him names!"

"I have an idea: Why don't I tell them for you? Then you can run away with me. I'll show you worlds that you never dreamed existed and introduce you to a friend I promised to let you meet."

"You really have a friend in the Continuum?" I want to believe him, but I'm reluctant to leave my parents. Despite my strong desire to never see this starship again, I can't bear to hurt them. "Maybe I'll go with you someday. I can't today. "

Looking dejected, Q flashes out and doesn't return for a long while.

I faithfully continue my studies under Data's tutelage. " Shannara, you are learning far quicker than I ever imagined you would, " he tells me. I can't break his heart and let him know it's because I'm now a Q. "You are beginning to mature into a lady. "

As I return to my quarters, I have mixed feelings about Data's words. He is pleased with all my accomplishments and it's not wrong for me to take pride in that. However, I can't help dwelling on his reference to me as a lady. If he's noticed that I've changed, will he soon guess that I've become a Q?

Mother says "Hi" to me as I walk past into my bedroom. I mumble a response without looking at her. I'm too preoccupied with sorting out my current predicament. Never before have I been so confused.

I stand in front of my full-length mirror, carefully studying my features. How have I changed since my initial visit to the Continuum? Making different facial expressions, I examine every line, dimple and ridge. My cheeks are a little fuller, but that's not surprising. I've gained ten pounds.

All my old shirts have had to be recycled for new ones. I've grown two shirt sizes in under a year, because I'm "developing" Mother has explained to me. Could that be why Data called me a lady? I don't need this happening, while I'm still trying to adjust to the Q!

Plopping onto my bed, I raise my arms above my head and refuse to move. The world around is not important; it is dull and boring. For a while, I can pretend my universe doesn't exist. I can float away from it and travel to another universe inside my mind. No physical exertion. No vanishing from this universe. I am here and there and nowhere. My mind enters a blue haze with tiny white creatures dancing about. Laughing, I pretend to chase after them only to let them go the moment I swipe to catch them in my grasp. They are non-sentient fluff, I decide, and travel mentally to another place. This time, I'm on a planet, watching as its populous scurries from place to place. No one seems satisfied with where they are or who they're with. Why are they in a hurry if they're destinations are no better?

"Shannara!" Mother yells, snapping me back into my mortal reality. When I sit up, she asks, "Didn't you hear me calling you? You looked as though you were in a different world."

An old Earth expression, I know, but my chest tightens as I suck in a breath.

"I'm sorry. What did you want?" I know I sound annoyed. I feel it too.

"I want to know what's bothering you."

"Nothing. I'm just tired and thought I'd take a nap before dinner." A lie, of course. As a Q, I only feel tired when I empower it. "I can't do that with you bugging me." My words surprise me. Never before have I gotten this flippant with Mother!

"I'm sensing distress from you and it's not because you're tired. Now are you going to talk with me?"

I fold my arms in defiance. "You really don't want to hear about it."

Although I notice the worry creasing her forehead and sense her growing fear, I don't offer a refutation. "Young lady, if you don't change your tone with me--"

"You'll what?" These rebellious words are flying out of my mouth! I begin to wonder if some Q isn't playing a game with me.

"Have you confined to these quarters except for your lessons and I'll have you escorted to those."

"You can't confine me. I'm more powerful than you!"

"What has gotten into you?" she places her hands on her hips, while I steadfastly refuse to respond. "Has Q visited you in the past few days?"

My facial reaction betrays my silence, but I don't offer an explanation.

"He popped into my office this afternoon when I was in between patients." I'm doomed, I think. Q has already told her everything. He probably paid Father a visit at tactical and told the whole bridge crew how I betrayed them. "He wanted to tell me how he thought you'd grown into a fine, mature lady," she continues. "Not that I care for Q's opinion, but you don't seem to be behaving very maturely right now. Maybe a week of confinement will do you some good."

"Oh please," I say, standing up from my bed. "Don't do that! I'll take it all back. Forget I snapped at you when you entered the door. Let me answer all your questions." I sound pitiful even to myself.

"Now you're contrite in the face of a threat," Mother says. "You're lucky I'm lenient and will give you a second chance. What did Q try with you this time?"

Do I tell her? More importantly, will she understand? She's convinced that Q, any Q, is a menace not to be trusted. She will never accept that I've joined their ranks. Relating to the desire to belong to the Continuum and to rise above a normal, dreary existence is not a conceivable notion by the average mortal. They see the Q only as a disruption to their routine. Well, I for one am tired of living through the same routine day after day. I could wake up in a different universe every morning and never long to return to this starship.

"Shannara, you're fading away from me again. Must I page your father or escort you to sickbay?"

I stand up, hoping it will convince her that I'm well. "I don't need a doctor. Yes, Q popped in the other day. He tried to talk me into taking a trip with him, but I'm still here as you can see."

She grasps me firmly by the arms. "You must tell us immediately every time after Q visits you. We need to be informed of his current tactics. Ever since he enticed Eric into spending a day in the Continuum, I've been so afraid he will take you away from us. Please, tell me you don't want to go with him!"

"I-I." Words fail me for an awkward moment. "I can't. I don't want to spend the rest of my life on this starship. I'm miserable here."

Mother sighs. "I know you'd rather live inside a house with a backyard to play in. That has been your dream since you were very young. But you should be old enough now to understand that your father and I also have careers to consider. We have our duties to Starfleet, to this ship, and to Captain Riker. We can't abandon our own dreams."

"What about your duty to me? Would you rather I run away to get what I want? Q has promised me a rather large backyard."

"Shannara, you wouldn't! You can't believe that Q can actually give you what you're after. He won't make you happy. He's filling your mind with frivolous notions. He's lying to you, because he wants to get back at us for an old grudge."

"You think he likes me because he hates you. That's so illogical. Do you feel nothing but contempt for all the Q? They're not all bad. Some have even made personal sacrifices to help others."

"What sacrifices? What nonsense has he fed you?"

Should I tell her that all my information is coming first hand? "You obviously won't believe any of it anyway."

"I cannot believe we are having this conversation. Without any defense against Q or any of his kind, I can't stop him from intruding on our lives whenever he feels like it, but I thought you at least felt some distaste for him." She turns away from me and toward the door. "I'm going to replicate dinner now. Wash up."

With that, the discussion ends. She doesn't even tell Father about it during dinner and I wonder if she's slipped into denial. She wants to continue believing that I'm her innocent little girl, that I've never been exposed to any mischief or otherwise sinful behavior.

Perhaps I should tell Father the truth and spare Mother. But I don't, instead pretending right along with her that nothing has happened to disrupt the cozy life she wishes for us. A small part of me must wish it as well. What else could be stopping me from reveling in my Continuum status?

I glance at Eric. He shows no ill signs of his experience with the mighty Q. In fact, he behaves like the perfect model of the child my parents want me to be: He's content with life on a starship and never makes any unreasonable demands. They never say it, but I often wonder if my parents don't want me to be more like my little brother.

"May I be excused?" I ask, showing none of the animosity I felt earlier. "I have some research to do." Father nods and I stand up to take my dishes to the replicator before retreating to my room. As my door slides shut, I glance back for one final look at them. They are the picture of a normal, content family. Why can't I fit in with them any longer?

Is the Q my family now? Q my new father? I once said I would never want that.

Standing in front of my computer console, I close my eyes and think about creating a universe where Mother and Father would both be happy with a civilian life, residing on a Federation colony. I imagine a two-story house with an upstairs bedroom for myself. The sun would shine on my face every morning to wake me. Smiling, I'd dress and go outside for an early jog at the nearby park. Others would join me and I'd finally have a dozen or two friends. All of them would love nature as I do. In the afternoon, I would tend to my garden.

Only Mother and Father wouldn't be the same parents I know in this existence.

I open my eyes and stare at the blank computer screen waiting for my voice command. "Computer," I say and it chirps expectantly to life. My mind pierces the screen and I enter its universe of electrons and isolinear chips. With a thought, I could become part of it, forever flowing from station to station. Or I could destroy it.

"No!" I exclaim aloud and slip back into my corporeal being. This ship means too much to my parents, to Captain Riker, to Data. I cannot be responsible for its destruction.

I sit down in my desk chair and for an hour, use the computer. Normally.

*****

The following day is a Saturday. During breakfast, Father tells me that he has no duty shift for the day. "I would be pleased if you'd agree to spend the morning with me," he tells me. "You can choose where we go."

We are currently orbiting a planet on a diplomatic mission. I know very little about it or its inhabitants, but that doesn't matter to me. "Can we visit the planet?"

"Alkalai has a hostile environment. That's why the majority of its people are asking for transport off world."

"I don't care. I would love the experience."

"Very well," he responds, his face showing pride.

"Worf!" Mother exclaims. "We can't send a child down there."

"There are already children living down there."

What Mother means is that they can't send *their* child down there. "I'm not that young anymore," I insist. "You will let me do this."

"Or you'll what? Give us another ultimatum like you did with the Akodians?

"We will make this trip," Father insists. I'm surprised to hear him oppose Mother and probe his mind. He is feeling both anguish and fear toward me. What does he think I will do if he doesn't comply with my wishes. Worse, is he right? "We will need to take along some supplies."

Mother furrows her brow and tilts her head. She is picking up the same emotions from him and is beginning to understand the situation. Should I end this and tell Father a stroll through the Arboretum will be an acceptable alternative? If I do, the Q will see it as a sign of weakness. Without a planet-side excursion now and then, I will not be content to stay with my parents.

"Give me a list, Father and I will replicate everything for us." As he begins to name off the items, I walk over to our replicator and instruct the computer.

Despite the argument, I'm optimistic about the fun this morning excursion will bring. Father will see that he was wise to give in so easily. I don't need Q to help me explore the wonders of the universe. Father will show me the way. For a day at least, I won't be stuck on this starship.

*****

We beam down on the outskirts of a forest, our backpacks heavy with all the paraphernalia Father insists we will need. "Where are all the people?" I ask, looking around us and seeing no housing.

"I thought it best that we beam down in an unpopulated area, so you may freely explore this planet's natural environment without any influence from its inhabitants. My interaction with them has been overly negative and I'd rather not expose you to that."

"Oh, but I want to judge everyone, everything for myself. I want to meet people and interact with their cultures." I walk ahead of him and run my fingers through some of the plant life. I undrape my backpack and remove a container from it to begin collecting samples. Data should be pleased when I give him a full analysis of my findings. "Father, you told me this planet had a hostile environment and yet it has a thriving horticulture. A botanist would be in pure heaven."

"Earthquakes," he explains. "On average, fifteen to twenty occur daily planet wide. Nearly fifty percent are severe enough to cause major damage. Deaths and injuries are far too high to warrant the time and energy required for a colony relocation. This is why I did not wish to bring you down here."

I snap the container shut and return it to my backpack, then set my backpack down against a tree. Knowing perfectly well what he is inferring, I don't make eye contact with him. If he wants to accuse me of using an ultimatum to once again get the upper hand, why doesn't he say it directly? Where is his Klingon strength and fearlessness? Have I weakened him so much it's stripped away his honor? I don't believe so. He is using this tactic to make me feel guilty. It won't work.

"Father, I am no safer on a starship! I've lost count of the number of times we've either been attacked or encountered a spacial anomaly that has placed us in danger. If you are so concerned for my safety, then send me away to a planet where I will be safe."

"Your Mother and I would be incomplete without our children. For the past twenty years Starfleet has sanctioned officers bringing their families on board for that very reason. We are able to perform our duties more efficiently with our families close at hand. Besides, you are not old enough to send away on your own."

I laugh at the ludicrousness of his belief, but stop abruptly as I realize I really don't want to hurt him or Mother. However misguided they have become, they still want what's best for me. I'll simply have to work at making them understand my expanding needs.

"I'm sorry, Father," I apologize. He nods as though shrugging off all memory of our argument. He hates fighting with me more than anything. "Tell me more about Alkali. Why aren't Starfleet scientists considering some way to alter the planet's geological structure? I've read of several cases where hell planets have been practically converted to paradises through the use of Federation technology."

"That is true. However, we have already made several attempts to alter this planets geological constraints with no success. If anything, the frequency of the earthquakes have increased."

Sitting down on a boulder, I contemplate this problem. As a Q, I could simply wish it fixed. That would not only save the trouble of relocating the people, but lives would be spared as well. Committing this act, however, would reveal my loyalty to the Continuum.

Father sits down beside me. "Many with years of Starfleet training have given this problem a great deal of thought."

Without looking at him, I say, "There is an easy way to eliminate this problem."

For a long moment, I silently wait for Father's didn't reply. I expect him to yell at me, and yet he remains calm. "Let me tell you a story, Shannara." you I cannot fathom how any Klingon myth will relate to this, but I turn expectantly toward Father. " Several years before you were born, Q came to us for the second time and offered the power of the Q to Captain Riker."

"He did? And Captain Riker refused it?"

"Not at first. He was a commander back then and Captain Picard forbade him to use it. Riker went on a rescue mission shortly afterward and attempted to save a child caught in a landslide. When she died, he felt guilty about not saving her."

"Why didn't he? Wouldn't Captain Picard have understood the need for a little girl to live a full life?" I wonder if Father were placed in a similar situation, would he not want my life spared at any cost?

"Riker had a loyalty first to Starfleet. However, he began to feel more and more as you do now and his guilt over not saving the girl grew. He defied the captain's orders and offered each member of the bridge crew their fondest wish: Commander La Forge could have eyes which see normally and without pain; Dr. Crusher's son Wesley a chance to mature ten years; Data could become fully human; and for myself, a Klingon woman for a mate."

I giggle at the prospect. "But none of you accepted these gifts. Otherwise, La Forge would have real eyes and Data would be human. Why turn down such generous offers?"

"Because if a man is made too powerful, he will likely become corrupted. What good he may do in the beginning will become clouded by greediness."

"Then, you believe there is no such thing as a good Q?" Without warning, tears stream down my face. I feel ashamed and awkward.

"I have yet to meet one," Father acknowledges. "I do not believe they are capable of considering the wishes of others. They think only of themselves."

"How many have you met?"

"Not many. Most see mortals as beneath them and not worth taking up their time. I doubt they even care much about one another."

Father believes he knows the Q better than I. Does he? I have both considered and doubted what he is saying a thousand times since joining the Continuum and am no closer to resolving my inner conflict.

Suddenly, a tremor builds underneath our feet. By the time I register that we're caught in an earthquake, Father is grabbing me by the arm and leading me out of the forest. He taps at his commbadge and calls for the Enterprise. No response. A tree falls down directly above us and Father pushes me away, but is unable to avert the heavy mass.

"Father!" I rush to him. His legs are pinned under the tree and he is barely holding onto consciousness.

"Get help," he manages. "Find the village."

"I can't leave you." My hair swipes at my tears and I brush it aside, behind my ear. "I can save you, if you let me. Not all Q are bad." I hold a hand out over the tree and it glows for a brief moment until vanishing in a Q-flash. I turn my reparations to my Father's injuries. As I touch my hands to his broken and twisted legs, he lets out a long and agonizing growl. His limbs reform to their natural position and soon his grimace turns into an expression of relief. I wipe at his sweaty brow and tell him, "everything will be all right now. You'll see that I will do only good."

Cautiously, he rises to a sitting position. "You should have gone for help," he insists. "A doctor from the nearest village could have healed me with Federation technology."

"Instead of Q technology."

"The Q do not use technology!"

"Not by your conventional Starfleet standards, perhaps. I healed you in an instant. A Starfleet doctor could have fixed your legs as well, but it would have taken days for them to heal completely. Father, why are you not grateful?"

"I told you the story of Riker's brief excursion as a Q and yet you still do not understand!"

Riker turned down the power of the Q because he was afraid of becoming corrupt. I vow not to become that weak. "I promise you I will do only good. Now I wish to visit the village." I remove my commbadge and drop it into his lap. "I will return to the Enterprise when I am ready."

I abandon him with a Q-flash.